Kirby's Insane Journey to Learn how to Wall Jump 2
by ClaudeLv250
Summary: The sequel to my first Kirby fanfic read that FIRST . Kirby has lost the wall jumping ability he went through so much trouble to get...and now he and his fellow Smash Brothers must find a way to get it back...
1. Chapter 1: The Reunion

Kirby's Insane Journey to Learn How to Wall Jump…Again!  
By ClaudeLv250  
  
Firstly, I do not own SSBM or the mascots fo Nintendo. However, I do own the characters I created.  
  
  
Chapter 1: The Reunion   
  
  
*It has been a month since Kirby first went on his journey to learn how to wall jump. He successfully learned it, after being hunted down by Fox and running into Link, Sheik, Samus, and Yoshi. Kirby is now mastering the wall jump at his home in Dreamland when the mailman, a Plasma Wisp, arrives.*   
  
Kirby: Hello!   
  
Plasma Wisp: Hello Kirby, usual mail today.   
  
*Plasma Wisp hands Kirby the mail, piece by piece, until he finds a Purple envelope with a big "N" on it.*   
  
P.Wisp: Looks like you've got something special in the mail today.   
  
Kirby: Open it!   
  
P.Wisp: Ok, ok.   
  
*Plasma Wisp opens the envelope, and reads the message contained inside aloud.*   
  
P.Wisp:   
"We know our mascots are very eager and excited about the upcoming Super Smash Brothers Melee Tournament so we are holding a small tournament to get all of our fighters ready for the big event. The tournament will take place next week. It will be held at Peach's Castle. All confirmed characters should attend. The event will not be taken charge of by our usual announcer because he has a soar throat. Lakitu will host this event. Have fun fighters!   
  
Sincerely,   
Nintendo"   
  
Kirby: Yes! I can test the wall jump in an actual fight!   
  
P.Wisp: See ya, Kirby!   
  
Kirby: Bye!   
  
*Plasma Wisp flies off to another house with the mail in his hands. Kirby dashes inside of his house. He picks up the phone and starts dialing on it. It begins to ring several times, and an answering machine picks up.*   
  
Recording: If you are trying to reach Samus Aran, I am not available right now. Where am I? The hell should I know? Why are you calling me anyway? You know, I*click*   
  
Samus: Hello?   
  
Kirby: Samus! Did you get the news about the sparring tournament?!   
  
Samus: Yes.   
  
Kirby: Isn't this great?! I can test the wall jump in actual combat.   
  
Samus: I'm picking up the gang by ship, you wanna come?   
  
Kirby: Sure!   
  
*A week later, a familiar ship lands in Kirby's front yard. Kirby hops into it and it takes off into the sky.*   
  
Kirby: Hello Samus! Link!   
  
Samus: Hello Kirby.   
  
*Link nods.*   
  
Kirby: Where's everyone else?   
  
Samus: Back there.   
  
*Kirby walks into the back room and finds Shiek and Yoshi, who seem to be having an argument.*   
  
Yoshi: You know it's true.   
  
*Slap*   
  
Yoshi: Ouch!   
  
Shiek: MY BREASTS ARE NOT ARTIFICIAL!!!   
  
Yoshi: Hey Kirby   
  
Kirby: *snicker*   
  
Yoshi: What's so funny?!   
  
Kirby: You are still a slap magnet *snicker*   
  
Shiek: Hello Kirby.   
  
Kirby: Hey you two, are you excited about the tournament?   
  
Shiek: You bet.   
  
Yoshi: Of course I am. Naturally, I will be victorious for the sole fact that I rock.   
  
Shiek: No, you don't.   
  
Yoshi: Yes, I do.   
  
Shiek: If you rock so much, how come I had to get the Arwing off of you?   
  
Yoshi: *mumbling* Atleast I'm not genderless.   
  
*Slap*   
  
Yoshi: Ouch!   
  
Shiek: I'M NOT GENDERLESS!   
  
Kirby: *Snicker* Let's go back to the cockpit before Yoshi gets anymore red handprints on his green face.   
  
*Kirby, Yoshi, and Shiek walk back to the cockpit where Samus and Link are.*   
  
Samus: Before we go to Peach's Castle, we have one more stop.   
  
Kirby: Where?   
  
Samus: Mute City, to pick up Captain Falcon.   
  
Kirby: Why, doesn't he have a vehicle of his own?   
  
Samus: Yes, but it's still being fixed and upgraded.   
  
Kirby: Oh...   
  
Yoshi: Samus, you left out the part about you and Captain Falcon becoming lovers and your new relationship. I bet you and him get pretty wild at night!   
  
*Slap*   
  
Yoshi: Ouch!   
  
Samus: Our relationship is none of your business.   
  
Yoshi: You could atleast be considerate and slap me with your hand, not the cannon!   
  
Samus: I'll slap you with whatever I want.   
  
Kirby: Hey, look! It's Mute City!   
  
*Everyone looks out of the cockpit as they fly past large and tall futuristic buildings. Samus lands the ship by a waving Captain Falcon. Captain Falcon hops into the ship.*   
  
C.Falcon: Hey everyone! There's my Bounty Huntress!   
  
*Captain Falcon walks over to Samus and tries to take her helmet off so he can kiss her, but Samus waves him off.*   
  
C.Falcon: What's wrong, not going to give your man a kiss?   
  
Samus: Now is not the time.   
  
Kirby: Hey Captain Falcon, I heard you were getting the Blue Falcon fixed and upgraded.   
  
C.Falcon: Yup, I'm renaming it too!   
  
Kirby: To what?   
  
C.Falcon: The Bluer Falcon!   
  
Kirby: Eh...*sweat drop*   
  
Yoshi: I see Samus is giving you the cold shoulder. I guess this relationship really isn't working out. Of course, most relationships with the case of the woman being stronger than the man end in disaster.   
  
*Slap*   
  
Yoshi: Ouch! You slap like a girl!   
  
C.Falcon: Good, I slap like a girl, the more it hurts.   
  
Yoshi: Um...yeah...*sweat drop*   
  
Kirby: Look! Peach's Castle!   
  
*Everyone looks out of the cockpit. All of the default characters have attended and seem to be getting ready for the sparring tournament and are on the roof of Peach's Castle. Mario and Bowser are arguing. It seems that Mario found out who really raped Peach. Peach is whipping Luigi as punishment for what he did to Mario's blimp, a month ago. Fox is gulping down a whole can of beer. Ness is levitating bananas over DK, who keeps jumping and reaching for the bananas, but misses each time as Ness moves them away with his mind. The Ice Climbers have brought a truckload of snow, and made a large snowman. Nana takes a knife, and sticks it right where the heart would be, and smiles evilly. Pikachu is charging up a jolt of electricity, and fires it at a tree. Samus lands the ship on the roof, and everyone hops out. Lakitu comes by with pen and paper, and marks beside everyone's name. All default characters have attended.* 


	2. Chapter 2: The New, Strict Rules

Sorry it took so long ot get this chapter up. I had forgotten about the story, then when I remembered, I was blocked from the net so I couldn't put it up =(  
  
  
Chapter 2: The New, Strict Rules   
  
Lakitu: Everyone line up! The tournament is about to begin!   
  
*Everyone, baffled by this new way of organization before battles, lined up atop Peach's Castle. Samus had to park her ship elsewhere, because there needed to be a large amount of space for the upcoming battles. Lakitu directs the line to a mystical circle on the ground.*   
  
Kirby: What's that?   
  
*Link shrugs*   
  
Lakitu: That is a new security device. It will detect anything you are not allowed to bring into a battle. You will have to discard of the item if it sparkles, or you will not participate.   
  
Yoshi: Pretty harsh...   
  
Lakitu: You haven't seen anything yet.   
  
*Lakitu directs the first person in line to step into the circle: Ness. He steps into the circle, hoping he hasn't broken any new rules. The circle sparkles, then a screech comes from it, echoing across the Mushroom Kingdom. Everyone covers their ears from the loud screech. The screech ends, and several fighters swear they have gone deaf.*   
  
Shiek: What the hell was that noise.   
  
Lakitu: I seem to have forgotten about the ear-splitting screech the circle produces when it finds something whoever is in the circle isn't suppose to have.   
  
*Soon, three-dimensional symbols of another language float from the circle, just high enough for Lakitu to read, who is the only one who knows that language. Lakitu writes in his notepad and turns to Ness.*   
  
Lakitu: Ness, an IQ that high is not allowed in the tournament.   
  
Ness: That is ridiculous. It was allowed in the first tournament.   
  
Lakitu: You will have to get rid of that IQ or not participate at all.   
  
Ness: You know I can't lower my IQ.   
  
Lakitu: THEN BE GONE!   
  
Ness: Go to hell...   
  
Lakitu: I'm not going to hell, but I am bringing hell to you, and the rest of you! NEXT!   
  
*Next in line is Yoshi. Everyone would think that Yoshi would hesitate after what happened to Ness, but he wasn't hesitant at all. He ran into the circle and smirked at Lakitu as he stood there. Soon, a familiar screech fills the Mushroom Kingdom, and Yoshi has a panicked look on his face.*   
  
Yoshi: Your circle must have a few issues to work out because I have brought nothing that would not be allowed. *Smirk*   
  
Lakitu: Oh, yes you have. This little report the circle is giving me tells me that you have the ability to produce unlimited amounts of eggs from...your rear end.   
  
Yoshi: So? Do you want to make something of it?   
  
Lakitu: No, just that that is not allowed.   
  
Yoshi: What? My precious eggs?!   
  
Lakitu: Lose the ability or not participate at all!   
  
Yoshi: But...but...I rock. This can't happen to me for the sole fact that I rock...   
  
Lakitu: Save the drama for your mama! NEXT!   
  
*Yoshi walks over beside Ness, who is quite angry. Yoshi is more shocked than angry, and keeps telling himself that he rocks. Third in line is Kirby. Kirby starts to walk forward slowly but doesn't want to be told that he can't participate like Ness and Yoshi. He doesn't think that he brought anything that wouldn't be allowed with him. Everyone else thinks that he has no reason not to go, because he is the only one in this twisted world that doesn't have dirt on his record. Kirby stands in the circle and an unexpected screech fills the area once again. Kirby is in a frantic state, he doesn't know what he brought that isn't allowed, and he doesn't want to be banned from the tournament.*   
  
Lakitu: Hmmm...   
  
Kirby: What is it?! I can get rid of whatever I have!   
  
Lakitu: Hmmm...you know how to wall jump.   
  
Kirby: Well...yeah. It was pretty hard to learn too.   
  
Lakitu: Wall jumps are only allowed for specified fighters, and you're not one of them.   
  
Kirby: What?   
  
Lakitu: Lose the knowledge or not participate in the event.   
  
Kirby: I don't want to lose my knowledge of wall jumping...but I do want to fight.   
  
Lakitu: Fine, then.   
  
*Lakitu pulls out his fishing pole and throws the line at Kirby. It makes it's way through Kirby and into his mind. Soon all of knowledge of wall jumping is being sucked out of his mind and onto the magical string on the fishing pole. Lakitu pulls the line out, and a ball of pure thought energy is thrusted out of Kirby's head. Lakitu puts the energy into a container and drops it back into his cloud.*   
  
Lakitu: Looks like you are the only one allowed to fight right now. NEXT!   
  
Kirby: ...   
  
*Kirby walks over by Yoshi and Ness, and is in deep thought, searching for his memories of wall jumping. Nothing. He remembers nothing about wall jumping, just the insane journey he had trying to learn it. Even though he plays the memory of Samus performing it for him, and watching himself wall jump off of the Arwing he can't pick up anything on how to wall jump. This is one of the strangest things that have ever happened to him, he thought. Kirby tries to think happy thoughts. He figures once the tournament is over, Lakitu will give the knowledge of wall jumping back. Kirby then remembers that the only reason he came to the tournament was to use wall jumping in an actual battle. He starts to get worried again, but is distracted once he sees who steps up to Lakitu next.*   
  
Lakitu: What are you waiting for? Step into the circle.   
  
Fox: I'll step into the fawking circle when I feel like it.   
  
*Fox takes his time walking into the circle. Everyone waits for awhile for a screech, but no one hears nothing for a few seconds. Then a screech three times that of the one released from the circle when Ness, Yoshi, and Kirby walked into it thundered for miles. Fighters were lying on the ground rolling from the pain their ears gave off. But not Fox. He expected this.*   
  
Lakitu: You have a load of things that aren't allowed in here.   
  
Fox: Hmm...like this?   
  
*Fox pulls out a half full can of beer, gulps the whole thing down, and burps in Lakitu's face.*   
  
Lakitu: I am not amused.   
  
Fox: It wasn't for your fawking amusement.   
  
*Fox crumples up the empty can of beer, and throws it into Lakitu's cloud and laughs.*   
  
Lakitu: Littering is not allowed!   
  
Fox: Whatever.   
  
Lakitu: You're not off the hook yet! You have more things. Hand them over.   
  
Fox: Yeah, right.   
  
Lakitu: If you won't hand them over, I will take them from you.   
  
Fox: Touch me and you will regret it.   
  
Lakitu: I regret nothing.   
  
*Lakitu swiftly takes his rod and swings it around Fox, gathering two things in the process. He holds one in each hand and smiles.*   
  
Lakitu: These are not allowed.   
  
Fox: Give me back my shotgun and gin, fawker!   
  
*Lakitu floats over to the edge of Peach's Castle roof. He takes the shotgun, smiles, and drops it into the moat below. He takes the gin, opens it, and pours it all into the moat.*   
  
Fox: I paid good money for that gin! I just got that shotgun fixed too!   
  
Lakitu: Ha, I told you, I regret noth-   
  
*Fox comes charging at Lakitu, and delivers a punch into the center of Lakitu's face. He retracts his arm and Lakitu covers his face. His glasses, cracked, fall off of his face and he drops the notepad and pen. Lakitu has a broken, bloody nose and a black eye. Fox kicks the cracked glasses into the moat and smirks.*   
  
Fox: I bet you regret crossing paths with me.   
  
Lakitu: Th-Th-This tournament is...po-postponed!   
  
*Lakitu, in total embarrassment flies away and over the hills of Peach's Castle. The fighters begin conversing with each other over the recent events that just took place.* 


	3. Chapter 3: Going to Get the Wall Jump Ba...

Chapter 3: Going to Get the Wall Jump Back   
  
*As Lakitu flies away, and egg hits him in the back of the head. Yoshi points and laughs at his accuracy.*   
  
Kirby: Lakitu, wait!   
  
Shiek: What's wrong?   
  
Kirby: He still has my wall jump!   
  
Yoshi: Too bad...   
  
Kirby: No! I will get it back! I went through too much trying to learn it!   
  
Yoshi: Then go get it. *Snicker*   
  
Kirby: Where?!   
  
Yoshi: Where ever the hell Lakitu lives.   
  
Kirby: And that would be...?   
  
Yoshi: I rock, but that does not mean I know everything.   
  
Shiek: Mario might know where Lakitu lives.   
  
C.Falcon: Who would want to visit that Lakitu jerk?   
  
Yoshi: No one in their right mind. That is probably why he is so mean.   
  
C.Falcon: Huh? I didn't know people had a right mind or a left one.   
  
Yoshi: *sigh*   
  
*Kirby walks over to Mario, who is currently whipping Luigi for asking if he could have some food.*   
  
Kirby: Um...Mario?   
  
Mario: Not-a Now.   
  
Kirby: All I want to know is where Lakitu lives.   
  
Mario: Not-a now!   
  
*Mario finishes whipping Luigi, and walks away, forgetting that Kirby was even there. Kirby turns around and is about to leave when the crippled and whipped mass that is Luigi calls him.*   
  
Luigi: Kirby...   
  
Kirby: Huh?   
  
Luigi: I know where Lakitu lives...   
  
Kirby: Where?   
  
*Luigi pulls out a pen and pencil, which he keeps for emergencies (like getting whipped by your brother isn't one) and writes down directions. He hands the paper to Kirby.*   
  
Kirby: Thanks.   
  
Luigi: Please...help...I haven't eaten in days...   
  
Kirby: I don't have any food...but maybe Samus has some in her ship. Wait here.   
  
*Kirby runs over to Samus and starts telling her about Luigi. Just then, Yoshi, Link, Captain Falcon and Sheik jump into the ship. Samus tells Kirby there is a large sub in the fridge in the backroom of her ship. Kirby hops into the ship and pulls the sub from the fridge. As he walks out of the backroom, a hungry Yoshi stops him. Yoshi snatches the sub from Kirby and proceeds to take a bite out of it. Kirby grabs the other end and starts pulling it away from Yoshi. Captain Falcon and Link interfere. It seems like Yoshi isn't the only one hungry. Kirby, Link, Yoshi, and Captain Falcon are all tugging at the sub. Sheik shakes her head at the barbaric behavior of the men and throws a dagger, splitting the sub in two. Link grabs a half and runs into the back room. Captain Falcon runs in after him and Falcon Kicks his way into the back room. Yoshi kicks Kirby to the side and grabs the other half of the sub. He opens is mouth wide, and is about to take a bite out of it when an object slaps him from behind.*   
  
Yoshi: Ouch! Samus, stop hitting me with the cannon!   
  
Samus: That sub is not for you it is for Luigi.   
  
Yoshi: Fawk Luigi! I'm hungry!   
  
*Samus slaps Yoshi in the back of the head again and snatches the sub from his hands. Kirby can't help but laugh. Link and Captain Falcon emerge from the backroom, with disappointed looks on their faces. In Link's hand is a burned sub, with a footprint in it. Captain Falcon accidentally Falcon Kicked the sub instead of Link. Samus jumps out of the ship. Luigi, despite the ball and chain on his leg, has managed to walk over to the ship. Samus hands him the half of the sub. Luigi eats it as if he had never eaten food before. Samus also pulls out a bob-bomb and gives it to Luigi. Luigi nods, and Samus breaks the chain on his leg. Samus hops back into the ship and takes off. Luigi is hit in the back of his head with a high-heel shoe that was once on Peach's foot. He turns around to see Mario and Peach, angry, and ready to whip him. A minute later, everyone in Samus' ship looks out the window because of an explosive sound they heard. They see a large explosion and Mario and Peach falling off of the side of the Castle roof to the moat below, followed by a large chunk of the roof. Luigi runs over the hills surrounding Peach's Castle and disappears into the horizon.*  
  
To Be Continued... 


	4. Chapter 4: How to Get the Wall Jump Back

Chapter 4: How to Get the Wall Jump Back   
  
*Samus ship is flying high above the clouds. Up ahead seems to be a cloud village. Many houses made of clouds are floating in the air. A flock a geese crashes into Samus' ship on the way, sending the geese falling to their doom. They arrive at the cloud house that is on Luigi's description. Everything is made of cloud, including the front yard. Everyone stands on the edge of Samus' ship, too afraid to step down on the cloud and fall through to their demise.*   
  
Kirby: So...is it safe to walk on it?   
  
Yoshi: This is the Mushroom Kingdom. Most clouds are solid...I think.   
  
C.Falcon: Who should go first?   
  
Yoshi: Not me, I rock too much to have to test the clouds.   
  
*Everyone looks at each other, then at Yoshi with evil smirks.*   
  
Shiek: Well, if you rock so much, the cloud should hold you without a problem.   
  
Yoshi: But...   
  
Samus: You couldn't possibly fall through the cloud, seeing that you rock and all.   
  
Yoshi: But...   
  
*Link starts to push Yoshi off the side of the ship. Yoshi tries to lean back, making it harder for Link to push him off. Right before Yoshi falls over the side, Lakitu floats out of his house with a large bandage on his nose.*   
  
Kirby: Hi Lakitu!   
  
Lakitu: ...what the hell are you bitc-*ahem* what are you all doing here?   
  
Kirby: We came to get my wall jump back. Remember, you left with it because the tournament was postponed. I want it back now.   
  
Lakitu: Oh, that's in the house.   
  
Kirby: Well, can I-   
  
*Yoshi yells as he looses his balance on Samus' ship and falls onto the cloud, and bounces on it like it's a mattress. Everyone sighs in relief.*   
  
Kirby: As I was saying, could you go get it?   
  
Lakitu: ...No.   
  
Kirby: Please?   
  
Lakitu: No.   
  
Shiek: Why aren't you going to give him his wall jump back?   
  
Lakitu: If he gets it back, he just may try to sneak into the Super Smash Brothers Melee Tournament with it. Everything that was not allowed in this practice tournament will not be allowed in the actual tournament.   
  
Yoshi: Kirby? Sneaking into the tournament with something that's not allowed? As if he had the balls to do something like that.   
  
Kirby: I...might have the balls to do something like that...   
  
Lakitu: Oh, so you are planning on sneaking in with it?   
  
Kirby: No!   
  
C.Falcon: I wonder what else is not allowed in the tournament...   
  
Yoshi: Probably Shiek itself. I mean, it is genderless and that's probably not allowed.   
  
Shiek: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT I'M NOT GENDERLESS!?   
  
*Lakitu looks down at Yoshi's lower body, cleans his glasses, and looks back up.*   
  
Lakitu: It looks as if you are the genderless one. Atleast, I can't tell what your gender is from here, if you have one.   
  
*Yoshi turns red with anger and strangles Lakitu. Link and Captain Falcon jump off the ship and separates the kicking Yoshi from Lakitu.*   
  
Lakitu: That was unpleasant. Sorry, but you can't have your wall jump back until after the Super Smash Brothers Melee Tournament.   
  
Kirby: There must be another way.   
  
Lakitu: Ha…you could drop out of the tournament...or get Miyamoto to change the rules...Ha!   
  
Kirby: That's...a great idea!   
  
Lakitu: er...I was being sarcastic.   
  
Kirby: We could gather all of the Nintendo mascots and demand that these new strict rules are fixed to our likings!   
  
Yoshi: Yeah!   
  
Kirby: But...how are we going to contact Miyamoto?   
  
Shiek: It shouldn't be too hard to contact our creator.   
  
Samus: I have heard of a device that connects from our world to the "Real" world.   
  
Kirby: Well, we just want to share our views with Miyamoto. We should gather the mascots first, and then go get the device.   
  
Yoshi: Yeah!   
  
C.Falcon: ...it brings a tear to my eye watching Kirby take lead...   
  
Samus: Um...yeah.   
  
*Everyone hops back into Samus ship and it takes off in a flash.*  
  
To be Continued... 


	5. Chapter 5: The First Mascot to be Recrui...

Chapter 5: The First Mascot to be Recruited   
  
  
Samus: If we deal with the bastard first the rest of the job should be easy.   
  
Shiek: It's ridiculous. I still don't think we should even be considering letting him come with us.   
  
C.Falcon: If Armored muffin wants to let him come, we should let him come.   
  
Yoshi: Armored muffin?   
  
C.Falcon: That's my little name for Samus. *Grins*   
  
Samus: I told you not to call me that.   
  
C.Falcon: But I like calling you that!   
  
*Kirby walks out from the backroom of Samus' ship.*   
  
Kirby: What's going on?   
  
Samus: Nothing...   
  
Kirby: So...have we decided which mascot to convince first?   
  
Shiek: Samus is considering trying to get Fox to come with us.   
  
Samus: He will probably be the hardest to convince seeing as he hates us and we hate him equally. But if we get the hardest to convince out of the way first, the rest of our job will be easy.   
  
Link: ...   
  
Shiek: How are we going to convince him, anyway?   
  
Kirby: I still have a little dirt on him...   
  
Samus: It better be good dirt...we don't want what happened last time to reoccur.   
  
Kirby: Oh...it's good dirt. *Grins*   
  
Samus: Ok, then let's go to Corneria.   
  
Kirby: Oh, you better head to the Cornerian pub. He is most likely drinking...as usual.   
  
*Only a few minutes after they made their decision, Samus' ship lands infront of the Cornerian pub...and there seems to be a huge bar fight going on inside.*   
  
Yoshi: Yes, a bar fight!   
  
Kirby: They probably won't mess with a large group of us.   
  
Samus: I'm not going inside.   
  
Kirby: Why not?   
  
Samus: I don't trust this area. Someone might steal the ship.   
  
Kirby: But wasn't it your idea to come here in the first place?   
  
Yoshi: Forget her, Kirby. The rest of us will go in.   
  
Shiek: I'm not going in either.   
  
Yoshi: You, too? And why are you not going?   
  
Sheik: A bar fight is no place for a princess of my likes.   
  
Yoshi: But you're in your disguise...nevermind. I guess the men will have to do the job.   
  
C.Falcon: I'm not going.   
  
Kirby: Why aren't you going?   
  
C.Falcon: Someone has to protect the women.   
  
Yoshi: I guess it's just you, me, and Link.   
  
*Kirby, Yoshi, and Link walk into the pub. Many human like animals fight each other wildly. A horse is hurled towards the three. Link and Yoshi duck, but Kirby doesn't have to because of his size. A gunshot is fired and everyone stops fighting. A large Rhino stands on top of the counter with a shotgun in his hand.*   
  
Rhino: This is my pub! If you all don't stop fighting I guarantee you will have holes in you before you leave.   
  
Dog: Like you could hurt us with that little thing! Haha.   
  
*The Rhino reaches and pulls out a bazooka from behind the counter. He aims it straight at the dog.*   
  
Rhino: Any questions?   
  
*Everyone begins to pick up tables and chairs and sets the bar up the way it was before the fight. Kirby, Yoshi, and Link look around the now calm bar for Fox. Kirby spots him with a female rabbit in a skirt so tight you'd think her legs would fall off from the lack of blood and oxygen. Kirby walks up and pulls on Fox's tail very hard. Fox almost falls out of the seat and is ready to hurt the person who pulled his tail. He pulls his blaster out and holds it in the face of Kirby as he turns around.*   
  
Fox: What the hell are you doing here?   
  
Kirby: Um...please...don't shoot...I just wanted to ask you something.   
  
Rabbit: Fox...do you know that...thing?   
  
Kirby: Hey! I'm not a thing I'm Kirby.   
  
Fox: It's just a dumb fawk.   
  
*Fox puts his blaster away and Kirby sighs in relief.*   
  
Fox: Could you excuse us?   
  
Rabbit: Okay...but you promised me a drink, Fox McCloud!   
  
Fox: Whatever...wench...   
  
*The rabbit walks away and Fox stands up.*   
  
Kirby: So...what I wanted to ask you was-hey? What are you-   
  
*Fox kicks Kirby and Kirby rolls like a bowling ball. He gets up, only to find that Link is his only back-up.*   
  
Kirby: Where is Yoshi?   
  
*Link points into the corner of the pub. Yoshi is flirting with a female dinosaur, who looks alot more menacing than he does. She doesn't look very bright either.*   
  
Kirby: That stupid dinosaur! Flirting at a time like this.   
  
Link: ...   
  
Fox: Come on, fawkers. Fight me.   
  
Kirby: We still outnumber you. You should just cooperate with us and-   
  
Fox: Outnumbered? I think it's pretty even, punk.   
  
Kirby: Huh?   
  
*A shadowed figure stands up from the chair that was beside the one beside Fox's. The whole time, Kirby didn't notice him. The shadowed figure takes a few steps forward, but is still shadowed. Link unsheathes the Master Sword and charges at the shadowed figure, who pulls out quite a big-arse sword of his own. The shadowed figure swings his sword and a dark wave of energy crashes across the floor and straight into Link, flinging him into a table, which breaks in half. Link is knocked out cold. Yoshi screams as the big, female dinosaur corners him. It seems that he accidentally offended her and she wants to cause him much pain. The shadowed figure steps into the light, revealing himself to be the infamous Gannondorf.*  
  
To be Continued... 


	6. Chapter 6: Bar fight!

Whoops! I was on vacation for a week so I couldn't update this for awhile!  
  
  
Chapter 6: BAR FIGHT!!!   
  
  
*Kirby is trapped between Fox and Gannondorf. Link is lying on a table, knocked out. And Yoshi is about to get his arse kicked by a large and vicious female dinosaur.*   
  
Fox: How should we deal with this fawker?   
  
GD: ...let's just beat the biyatch to a pulp.   
  
Fox: Good idea.   
  
*Gannondorf swings his sword at Kirby. Kirby jumps back and is kicked by Fox. Fox and Gannondorf proceed to kick and stomp Kirby for over a minute. Yoshi, noticing how big the dinosaur is, tries to slide between her legs. She turns around recklessly, stepping on Yoshi and tripping at the same time. Yoshi screams as the dinosaur falls and her foot is lifted off of his body. Yoshi scrambles over to the counter and looks for a weapon, hoping the Rhino doesn't still have it. There were no weapons left at the counter. The dinosaur gets up and stomps over to Yoshi. Yoshi grabs anything close to him. He picks up a vase with a flower in it, and holds it high, ready to throw it at her. The dinosaur's size alone causes Yoshi to tremble and hesitate as she stops right in front of him. She snatches the vase and pulls the flower out of it. She drops the vase and stares at the flower. She starts to blush and her eyes water. She grabs Yoshi and hugs him. Yoshi doesn't know what just happened and is too busy replaying the previous events in his mind to realize that his bones are going to snap if she hugs him any tighter. Kirby is still getting stomped while Link finally comes to. He starts to get up off the table, but before he can do anything else a thin object flies past him and smacks Fox in the face. Before Fox even realizes that his face was just smacked the object retracts. Gannondorf stops and looks over his shoulder. Before he can make anything out, the object smacks him in the face aswell and retracts. Fox and Gannondorf turn around to find Shiek standing behind them, with her whip ready to smack them again. Link charges at Gannondorf again but he picks Link up by the throat, and throws him towards Fox. Fox kicks Link like a ball behind the counter. Both of them have their backs turned to Shiek and she swings her whip again, this time, very hard. The whip is so powerful that it knocks Gannondorf and Fox off of their feet and towards the counter, where Link is waiting. Link does his Sword spin, bouncing them both back to Shiek, where she whips them again. Link and Shiek bounce Gannondorf and Fox back and forth like a volleyball until an explosion blows Shiek, Link, the stomped Kirby, Fox, and Gannondorf away. Everyone in the bar, excited by the action, begins fighting each other. The bar has become chaos. Standing on the counter once again is the Rhino, with his bazooka pointed straight at the downed Shiek, Link, Kirby, Gannondorf, and Fox. He seems to have caused the explosion.*   
  
Rhino: I said that if you fought, you would leave in pain.   
  
?????: Maybe you should be in pain.   
  
Rhino: Who said that?! I'm gonna fawk you up!   
  
?????: Fawk this up!   
  
*The pub door is thrown open and a missile flies in, straight at the Rhino. The missile barely misses several heads of fighting animals as it flies straight at the Rhino. It misses the Rhino but hits the wall behind the counter, blowing the rhino off of it. Samus, retracts her cannon. She is the one who launched the missile. Gannondorf gets up, pissed, he launches a ball of energy at a corner of the pub, sending a cat and a table flying across to the other side of the pub. Shiek stands up, but is cornered by several animals that seem to want to pick on her instead of each other. She backs up to a window, when the animals charge at her. She teleports leaving an explosion behind blowing the animals out of the pub's window. Kirby finally stands up after the brutal beating he got but is hit by a glass of wine, sending him back to the floor. Samus launches a fully charged shot across the pub. It picks up three animals and carries them into the wall, where it explodes. Another gang of animals roam the bar, and decide to pick on Samus. They all jump on her and start beating on her, when she does the Screw Attack sending them all flying in different directions. The large dinosaur finally puts Yoshi down once she realized what was going on in the bar. Yoshi looks around for his group, but can't seem to find them in the raging mass of animals brawling in the bar. One of the animals blown away by Samus' Screw Attack, flies in Yoshi's direction. Yoshi doesn't see him coming but the dinosaur does and she grabs Yoshi and pulls him out of the way before he collides with the flying animal. Fox gets up and FireFox's his way through the mass of animals. He and Gannondorf run out of the bar. Samus finds Yoshi, and grabs him, running out of the pub and chasing after Fox and Gannondorf. The dinosaur doesn't want to be separated from her love and follows after them. Link picks up the battered Kirby, finds Shiek and follows after Samus and Yoshi...*  
  
To Be continued... 


	7. Chapter 7: Alley Rush

Chapter 7: Alley Rush   
  
*Fox and Gannondorf run through the alleys of Corneria with Samus and the group following closely after them. Fox and Gannondorf come to a three-way split. They look at each other, and go in different directions. Samus and Yoshi arrive at the splits.*   
  
Samus: I'm sure they went in different directions. You stay here just in case one of them come back.   
  
Yoshi: I can be of more use than waiting for one of them to come back!   
  
*Samus runs down the left path, completely ignoring Yoshi. Link and Sheik appear with the unconscious Kirby.*   
  
Sheik: Where's Samus?   
  
Yoshi: She went down the left path. She thinks Fox and Gannondorf went down different paths.   
  
Sheik: So why are you here.   
  
Yoshi: She thinks one of them might come back, so she told me to stay here.   
  
Sheik: Good, you can keep an eye on Kirby.   
  
Yoshi: I don't want to baby sit!   
  
Sheik: It's not that hard keeping an eye on someone who's not even awake.   
  
Yoshi: *sigh*   
  
*Sheik lays Kirby on the ground next to Yoshi, and goes down the middle path while Link goes down the right path. Link feels something pass him by quickly, but thinks it's nothing. The female dinosaur finally makes her way down the alley, and sees Yoshi. She becomes extremely happy and begins running towards Yoshi until she sees a foot strike Yoshi down. She stares in shock as the rest of the body is revealed, making it known that it is Fox McCloud who kicked Yoshi. Her face changes from a shocked to furious expression. Her eyes lock on to Fox and she charges down the alley at high speeds. Fox's ears pick up a heavy sound and he looks down an alley path. He sees two bright red eyes heading towards him, but he can't see the body because of the lack of light in the alley. He finally makes out the body as it comes into the light, but it is too late. The massive body picks Fox up and continues to run down another alley. The noise wakes Kirby up and Yoshi watches the large body carry Fox into the darkness of another alley, and he knows it's the dinosaur because she had the same look on her face when she almost killed him in the bar. Gannondorf runs down the alley path until he reaches a dead end.*   
  
Gannondorf: Damn...   
  
Samus: Looking for a way out?   
  
GDorf: Ah, I see you have found me.   
  
Samus: Well, you move so slowly that I wasn't sure if you wanted to be found or not.   
  
GDorf: Well, lets fight.   
  
Samus: Gladly *points cannon at Gannondorf*   
  
*rumble*   
  
Samus: Huh?   
  
GDorf: What the hell was that noise?!   
  
*Samus and Gannondorf look down the alley, trying to figure out what the noise was. They then see a huge dinosaur, with Fox in her hand, running towards them. Samus wall jumps out of the way. Gannondorf tries to jump out of the way, but gets knocked through the air by the powerful dinosaur. The dinosaur stops at the dead end, and slams Fox into some trash bags in a corner. She begins stomping and slashing at the bags, while Fox rolls around, trying to dodge all of the attacks. Yoshi and Kirby run up the alley, and Yoshi tells the dinosaur to stop. Samus lands, and shortly afterwards, Gannondorf comes crashing to the ground.*   
  
Samus: Aren't you suppose to be at the splits?   
  
Yoshi: Yeah...but all the action is here. Besides, Sheik and Link are back there, somewhere...   
  
Samus: Who is that big-arse dinosaur?   
  
Yoshi: I met her in the bar. It seems she has taken a liking to me. What is your name, anyway?   
  
Dinosaur: I'm...Shyla...   
  
Kirby:   
  
Fox: *trying to get out of the trash* I will get you all!   
  
Kirby: Oh, calm down. We aren't here to fight you. We just want your help.   
  
GDorf: Our...help? You need it for what?   
  
Kirby: The rules have gotten strict and we need as many mascots as possible to convince Miyamoto into making them not so strict.   
  
GDorf: ...So?   
  
Yoshi: I guess you haven't heard yet...you aren't allowed to have your own moveset. You are...*snicker*...a clone of Captain Falcon!   
  
GDorf: WHAT?! This is ridiculous! I will not stand for this!   
  
Fox: And what makes you think you can convince me?   
  
Kirby: Hmmm...I still remember a certain event that took place with you and a female Fox one night. I'm sure General Pepper wouldn't be too happy about that...   
  
Fox: Fawk...   
  
Samus: So...will you boys cooperate?   
  
Yoshi: Or will Shyla have to deal with you?   
  
Fox: Dammit...   
  
GDorf: We'll cooperate.   
  
Kirby: Good.  
  
To Be Continued... 


	8. Chapter 8: Peach and Mario

Chapter 8: Peach and Mario   
  
*Sheik and Link run up the alley to find Samus, Kirby, Yoshi, a big arse dinosaur, Gannondorf, and Fox.*   
  
Sheik: What is going on?!   
  
Kirby: We got Fox and Gannondorf to join us!   
  
Fox: *mumble*   
  
Sheik: And the big-arse dinosaur?   
  
Kirby: Yoshi's girlfriend!   
  
Sheik: Doesn't look his type...   
  
Yoshi: Shut up!   
  
Fox: Can we leave, dammit!?   
  
*The group leaves the alley and returns to Samus ship, to find Captain Falcon, asleep on top of the ship and some furry hoodlums trying to pry the hatch open. Samus fires a blast at the hoodlums and they flee. The noise wakes Falcon up.*   
  
C.Falcon: *yawn* I see everything worked out.   
  
Samus: You were supposed to be watching the ship, not sleeping on it!   
  
C.Falcon: I'm sorry armored muffin but you took so long.   
  
Fox: Armored muffin? Those two...   
  
Yoshi: Yup.   
  
Fox: ...in a relationship?   
  
Yoshi: Yup.   
  
Fox: ...disgusting.   
  
Yoshi: My same reaction.   
  
*After a little more arguing between Samus and Falcon, everyone enters the ship.*   
  
C.Falcon: Hello Ms. Shyla. You are quite the big-arse dinosaur.   
  
Shyla: Um...thank you.   
  
C.Falcon: I bet Yoshi would regret getting on your nerves. You'd probably tear him apart!   
  
Yoshi: Not like how you'd get your arse kicked by Samus...   
  
Fox: I want some alcohol, dammit!   
  
Samus: Take this and shut up.   
  
*Samus tosses a bottle of Gin to Fox, who gladly catches it and sits down on the floor of the ship to drink it. Link and Gannondorf are standing in opposite corners, staring each other down.*   
  
C.Falcon: Hey Kirby, you have something on your back.   
  
Kirby: Huh?   
  
C.Falcon: Yeah, it looks like a footprint.   
  
Kirby: ...shut up!   
  
C.Falcon: But-   
  
Kirby: SHUT THE HELL UP!   
  
Samus: Wait, you don't tell my man to shut the hell up.   
  
Sheik: Kirby, calm down...   
  
Kirby: No, SHUT THE HELL UP ALL OF YOU!   
  
*Kirby stomps into the backroom of Samus' ship, and Falcon looks clueless as to what just happened. Everyone just looks at each other in disbelief.*   
  
Yoshi: Boy Falcon, you seem to be pissing everyone off today.   
  
C.Falcon: I don't understand. Why is he mad at me and the rest of us?   
  
Yoshi: I guess not you and us specifically. He got stomped pretty hard in the bar by Fox and Gannondorf so I guess he's still upset over that.   
  
C.Falcon: But he seemed happy a moment ago.   
  
Yoshi: Kirby is weird like that.   
  
Sheik: So...Samus. Who are we getting next?   
  
Samus: Mario and Peach.   
  
*Everyone groans at the thought of Mario and Peach coming. Falcon walks into the backroom to see if he can make things better with Kirby, even though everyone encouraged him not to.*   
  
Samus: It seems popularity has changed them.   
  
Yoshi: They are mean and vicious. I'm glad I left before they chained me up like they did Luigi.   
  
Sheik: And who knows what happened to poor Toad...   
  
Samus: We are arriving...now.   
  
*The ship lands at the familiar scene of Peach's castle...except now the castle has a big hole in the roof and chunks of the roof are floating in the moat. Peach and Mario walk out of the castle to see why the ship has landed.*   
  
Mario: What do you want-a?   
  
Samus: We want to get as many Nintendo mascots as possible to come with us. As you know, the rules for the Super Smash Brothers Melee tournament have been stricken. We want to loosen the strictness by convincing Miyamoto to get HAL to change some of the rules.   
  
Mario: Hm...   
  
*Peach whispers in Mario's ear, and he quickly accepts Samus' offer. Not too long afterwards, Peach and Mario board the ship with their new slave, Toad. Ever since Luigi was freed, Toad was forced to take his place. Toad runs into a corner and cries while Peach and Mario look at everyone on the ship. She sees Fox sitting down and drinking his Gin, and is disgusted by his presence.*   
  
Peach: Mario, remove this funky animal.   
  
Mario: Sure Peach.   
  
Fox: Wha?   
  
Samus: Um, no. He cannot leave. He was hard enough to convince to come with us, he's not leaving now.   
  
Peach: But...I bet he doesn't even bathe!   
  
Fox: Even if I didn't bathe, I'd still be cleaner than you, tramp.   
  
Peach: TRAMP!?   
  
*Peach, in a rage, picks up Toad and throws him at Fox. Fox easily deflects the hurled Toad away with his arm. Link ducks as the deflected Toad flies in his direction. Mario holds Peach back.*   
  
Peach: I REFUSE TO BE IN THE PRESENCE OF THIS FUNKY ANIMAL!!!   
  
Mario: Peach, calm down.   
  
Samus: You will just have to deal with his presence. You don't talk to him and he doesn't talk to you.   
  
Peach: FINE!  
  
To Be Continued... 


	9. Chapter 9: Mayhem and Icicle Mountain

Chapter 9: Mayhem and Icicle Mountain  
  
Peach: Toad!  
  
*Toad, who was flung behind Link after Peach's rage, begins to cry. *  
  
Peach: TOAD!  
  
*Toad begins to cry even louder.*  
  
Peach: Toad! I think I'm about to have another headache and…I need...pillow *mumble*  
  
*Peach falls over and Mario catches her. Toad runs over with a pillow. *  
  
Sheik: Is she okay?  
  
Mario: After we where blown-a off of the castle roof she hit-a her head-a very hard-a on a piece of it-a! She's been having these-a headaches along with mood swings-a!.  
  
Yoshi: Aww...poor Peach   
  
Sheik: I think I've been in this form long enough for today…  
  
*In a bright flash and sparkles, Sheik reverts back to Zelda.*  
  
Zelda: Ah, I feel magically gifted again.  
  
Peach: Ah...what...huh?  
  
Mario: Peach, you had another headache-a.  
  
Peach: I feel fine now.  
  
Samus: Our next stop is Icicle Mountain.  
  
*Everyone starts to moan. No one wants to deal with that cold weather right now. Peach takes her crown and high-heeled shoes and throws them at Mario, who catches them. She swings her hair about wildly as if she was loosening up. *  
  
Mario: Peach-a! Your hair!  
  
Peach: Shut up, Mario! Toad, come here!  
  
*Toad approaches Peach, only to find himself whipped hard by Peach as she quickly pulled it out of her dress.*  
  
Toad: Why?!  
  
Peach: You dare question me?!  
  
*Whip*  
  
Toad: Ah!  
  
Peach: The first time was for when you took so long to bring me a damn pillow!  
  
Toad: I couldn't find one!  
  
*Whip*  
  
Toad: AH!  
  
Peach: No excuses!  
  
Toad: But...ah!  
  
*Peach swings the whip forward again, but is now tangled around the arm of Fox McCloud. Everyone gasps.*  
  
Peach: YOU of all people DARE to protect him?!  
  
Fox: Oh, no. I was trying to get something but just managed to block your whip.  
  
Peach: Oh...  
  
*Fox picks up his Gin bottle, which seemed to have rolled away from him. He then returns to his spot and gulps down some more Gin. *  
  
Zelda: Well, even if he didn't defend Toad, I will. He's been whipped enough, don't you thi-  
  
*Before Zelda can finish speaking, she is hit with Peach's whip. A tense atmosphere begins to fill the ship. Link, now pissed, unsheathes his sword and approaches Peach. Mario steps forward. Gannondorf cracks a smile, after seeing Zelda get whipped and all.*  
  
Mario: Leave her alone-a!  
  
Link: ...  
  
Samus: Hey! No fights on my ship!  
  
Yoshi: Hush Samus, I want to see a fight.  
  
*Peach is blasted backwards by a small ball of lightning that was shot from Zelda's hand. Peach then cracks her whip, and prepares to swing when a strong force hits Samus' ship. Everyone tumbles over. The tense atmosphere is lifted.*  
  
Yoshi: What the hell was that!? What hit the ship?  
  
Samus: Nothing hit the ship; I just made an abrupt stop because I said NO FIGHTING! Oh, and we are at Icicle Mountain.  
  
*Everyone looks out of the cockpit to see a small shack on Icicle Mountain.*  
  
To Be Continued... 


	10. Chapter 10: The Ice Climber Duo

Chapter 10: The Ice Climber Duo  
  
*The hatch of Samus' ship opens and Zelda sticks her head out. A cold breeze blows by and she begins to shiver. She pokes her head back into the ship.*  
  
Zelda: It's too cold out there...I think I'll stay in here.  
  
*Some shuffling can be heard coming from the backroom and a loud crash is heard as some glass breaks. Captain Falcon charges out of the backroom with an angry Kirby, Hammer in hand, chasing him out while screaming at him. Falcon jumps behind Yoshi, and the angry Kirby is prepared to beat Yoshi to a pulp to get to Falcon.*  
  
Yoshi: Falcon! What did you do this time?!  
  
C.Falcon: I didn't mean to make him mad! I just told him that he missed a spot when he was washing the footprint off!  
  
Kirby: AAAARRRRRRRRGHHHHHH!!!  
  
Yoshi: Ah! You can have Falcon!  
  
*Yoshi quickly jumps to the side, leaving Falcon defenseless against Kirby's mallet. Falcon backs up into the wall of the ship. Kirby takes a swing at Falcon, who just barely dodged the attack. Kirby growls, and swings again. Falcon hops over Kirby's head and begins to run in the opposite direction. Kirby yells in anger and chases after Falcon again. Captain Falcon trips over Fox's tail. Fox is lying on the floor, asleep. Kirby's hammer comes crashing down at Falcon, who rolls to the side. The hammer smashes Fox's tail, and he jumps awake, yelling "FAWK" in pain. Falcon slides under Shyla, but that doesn't stop Kirby, who runs under her without a problem. Falcon runs yet into another corner. He is trapped. Kirby charges full speed ahead at Falcon until Samus picks him up. She slaps him around a bit with her cannon for good measure, and starts to yell at him.*  
  
Samus: Kirby! KIRBY! Snap out of your rage!  
  
Kirby: Huh...what?  
  
Samus: We are at Icicle Mountain. Are you coming to get Popo and Nana or are you going to chase Falcon around my ship all day with a mallet?  
  
Kirby: I'm going!  
  
*Samus puts Kirby down and he hops out of the hatch of the ship. Captain Falcon walks over to Samus.*  
  
C.Falcon: Thanks, armored muffin! Any longer and I would have had to hurt him!  
  
Yoshi: It seemed like Kirby was going to hurt YOU if that was carried on any longer.  
  
*Slap*  
  
Yoshi: OUCH!  
  
C.Falcon: I wasn't talking to you!  
  
*Slap*  
  
C.Falcon: OUCH! What was that for?  
  
Samus: We all advised you not to try and make things better with Kirby. You only caused more trouble.  
  
C.Falcon: Well I couldn't let him st-  
  
Peach: AH! Mario, I'm having another headache!  
  
Mario: Mama Mia! Peach!  
  
*Peach faints from the headache, and Mario catches her. He lays her head down on the pillow.*  
  
Samus: Falcon, will you stay here and watch the ship? Some of these people aren't trustable... *looking at Fox, who is sleeping again, and Gannondorf, who is sitting in a corner.*  
  
Yoshi: I'll stay too!  
  
Samus: NO! You will most likely cause a fight!  
  
Yoshi: Aw, man.  
  
Shyla: I-I'll watch them.  
  
Samus: Hmm...a big-arse dinosaur keeping an eye on my ship...Link, you can stay here with Shyla and Zelda. Falcon, Yoshi, come with me.  
  
C.Falcon: Sure armored muffin!  
  
Yoshi: *mumble*  
  
*Samus, Yoshi, and Falcon hop out of the hatch of the ship. They jump off onto a ledge of Icicle Mountain, where Kirby is waiting. The ship is hovering by the ledge. Kirby points to a small shack. *  
  
Kirby: Is that the place?  
  
Samus: I think so.  
  
*Everyone walks towards the shack, which is covered in snow. Yoshi starts to shiver from the cold. Captain Falcon slips on some ice. Everyone rolls their eyes at him until he points into the air. He sees a shadow on the ledge above them, and a large object falls towards them. Falcon quickly gets up and Falcon Punches the large object, which appeared to be an ice block. Samus locks on and fires a missile at the ledge above. The ledge explodes and the shadowed figure falls to the snow covered ground below, lifeless. They walk over to it realizing that it was only a Seal.*  
  
Kirby: Samus, how could you?! You killed a seal!  
  
Samus: Would you rather me blow it up or you be crushed by an ice block?  
  
C.Falcon: You should be thanking armored muffin!  
  
Kirby: You didn't have to kill it!  
  
Yoshi: Who knew it was a seal at the time?  
  
Samus: Kirby, stop making a big deal over nothing.  
  
Kirby: That seal's life IS a big de-  
  
*Everyone gets quiet as the seal's body begins to move. The seal's body is flung forward as an angry Popo appears from under it.*  
  
Popo: Who the hell did that?!  
  
Kirby: Popo? What were you doing under the seal?  
  
Popo: I was carrying it until I somehow got blown off of a ledge and fell to the ground with it landing on me!  
  
Samus: Oh, that was you? What about the ice block?  
  
Popo: What about it?! It got in my way so I kicked it to the side.  
  
C.Falcon: Phew! And all this time I thought it was raining ice blocks!  
  
Yoshi: Uh, Falcon. It doesn't rain ice blocks.  
  
Kirby: But...the seal died from the fall...  
  
Popo: What? I bashed that things' brain inside out long before I got to the ledge.  
  
*Popo points at his hammer, which is covered in seal blood. Kirby looks upset and disgusted.*  
  
Kirby: You...you monster! Why did you kill it?!  
  
Popo: What else was I going to eat for dinner?  
  
Yoshi: You eat seal for dinner!?  
  
Popo: Sometimes for breakfast and lunch too.  
  
Yoshi: What ever happened to eating fish?  
  
Popo: When you find a place where fish live on this mountain of ice and snow, tell me. Besides, you all can eat some of this seal too!  
  
Samus: I am not very fond of the idea of eating a seal.  
  
Yoshi: I don't think any of us are.  
  
Popo: What? You people have got to try fried seal sandwiches!  
  
Kirby: Ah!  
  
C.Falcon: Actually, a fried seal sandwich sounds good.  
  
Popo: I bet you are cold out here. Let's go to my house.  
  
Yoshi: That tiny little- I mean, that place over there?  
  
Popo: Yeah!  
  
*The group follows Popo into his tiny little shack- *ahem* I mean, his house. Despite how small it looks on the outside, it was a decent size on the inside. They entered a middle-sized room. It had a small counter near the entrance, a table with 4 chairs, a fireplace, and a hallway leading deeper into the house. Popo sets the seal down and starts a fire in the fireplace. Samus, Falcon, Kirby, and Yoshi sit at the table.*  
  
C.Falcon: Hey! This isn't an igloo!  
  
Samus: *rolling eyes* this almost looks like a store.  
  
Popo: That's because it is!  
  
Kirby: What kinda store is it?  
  
Popo: A Topi fur store! You don't realize how much money you can rake in selling Topi furs. Even if there aren't that many customers! Of course, I once owned a strip club...  
  
Kirby: *gasp*  
  
Popo: Kidding, kidding...so...what are you guys doing here anyway? Only recently, Nintendo mascots remembered that the Ice Climbers existed. I never expected any of you more famous mascots to actually visit. We poor Ice Climbers are left to live on a mountain of ice and snow in the middle of nowhere.  
  
Samus: Actually...we were hoping that you and Nana would come with us. We are going to try and convince Miyamoto to get HAL to change these new strict rules. Of course, the rules were nowhere near this strict back in the first Super Smash Brothers Tournament.  
  
Popo: Go ahead and rub it in. We weren't in the first one, so we wouldn't know how much the rules have changed.  
  
Samus: That's not what I meant.  
  
Popo: But it's true. Nana and I never experienced the first tournament. And I would be glad to go with you all. But I'm not going anywhere without Nana.  
  
Kirby: Hey, where IS Nana anyway?  
  
Popo: Oh, she should be getting home from work soon.  
  
Yoshi: What does she do?  
  
Popo: She's an assassin.  
  
Yoshi: You're kidding?  
  
Popo: No. She really is, didn't you see her stabbing the snowman back at Peach's Castle? That evil smile of hers also proves that she enjoys her job.  
  
C.Falcon: Assassins are almost as cool as Bounty Hunters *smiles proudly and throws his arm around Samus*  
  
*The door of the house slams open, and then slams shut, and Nana walks right through the room without even looking at the guests they have. She seems to be grumbling aswell. She walks into her room and slams the door shut. Popo almost looks embarrassed by her behavior.*  
  
Popo: Um, Nana!  
  
Nana: What?!  
  
Popo: We have guests!  
  
Nana: So what? Get rid of them!  
  
Popo: Nana, what's wrong?  
  
Nana: I actually didn't assassinate anyone today! This is the first time someone has gotten away from me! I have a flawless record of always getting the job done! This would screw it up!  
  
Popo: To take your mind off of things, why don't we leave this mountain for a while?  
  
Nana: And go where?!  
  
Popo: Around the world of Nintendo! You always wanted to do that. Some Nintendo mascots came over and they are our guests! We can go with them.  
  
*Nana walks out of her room and greets the guests.*  
  
Nana: I am sorry that you had to see me in a bad mood.  
  
Yoshi: That's okay. Kirby wasn't in the best of moods either not too long ago.  
  
C.Falcon: Hey Kirby, did you ever wash the spot off that I said you missed?  
  
Kirby: *mumbling* Shut up Falcon...  
  
C.Falcon: What?  
  
Kirby: Shut up Falcon!  
  
C.Falcon: But!  
  
*Samus quickly slaps Captain Falcon before he makes Kirby any angrier.*  
  
Nana: Let's hurry up and leave before I get in an even worse mood.  
  
Popo: Okay! We're ready to leave!  
  
Yoshi: What about the seal?  
  
Popo: This old thing? Forget about it!  
  
*Popo opens the door and throws the dead seal out into the snow. It seems to have started snowing outside, and has gotten a lot windier.*  
  
Popo: Crap! I forgot that there was going to be another blizzard. We better leave now!  
  
*Everyone walks out of the house and head back to the ledge, fighting the snow and wind as they walked.*  
  
Popo: How are we leaving?  
  
Samus: My ship should be right...here?  
  
Kirby: Samus, the ship is gone!  
  
C.Falcon: I bet those seals hijacked it!  
  
Yoshi: Falcon, seals don't hijack ships.  
  
Popo: The blizzard is getting worse! We better find the ship or some type of shelter soon!  
  
Samus: I bet I have a good idea what happened to it.  
  
  
To Be Continued... 


	11. Chapter 11: More Mayhem

Chapter 11: More Mayhem  
  
Samus: I want my damn ship back!  
  
C.Falcon: No one steals armored muffins' ship and gets away with it! Those seals will pay!  
  
Yoshi: Falcon, seals don't hijack ships!  
  
Nana: Standing out here isn't going to get us anything! I'm getting pissed again!  
  
Popo: Let's go back to the house!  
  
Kirby: The blizzard is so bad that I can't even see the house anymore!  
  
Popo: I think there is a cave over here!  
  
*Popo backs up into the mountain wall and feels along the side of it until he stumbles into darkness. "In here!" he yells to the others. The others follow his voice. Samus follows until she stops after hearing a familiar sound.*  
  
Kirby: Samus, get in here!  
  
Samus: I heard something...familiar.  
  
C.Falcon: Come on armored muffin!  
  
*Samus completely ignores her group calling her to come into the cave. She walks in the opposite direction and disappears in the raging blizzard.*  
  
Yoshi: Samus' stubborn arse! She should have come in here!  
  
Kirby: What are we going to do now!?  
  
C.Falcon. Armored muffin might not be okay! I have to check on her!  
  
*Captain Falcon charges out of the cave after his "Armored Muffin" and disappears into the blizzard.*  
  
Kirby: Now what?!  
  
Popo: I say we follow them. There isn't a point in being separated from them.  
  
Kirby: I guess you're right.  
  
*The others walk out of the cave and into the blizzard, holding on tight to each other. Captain Falcon reaches the ledge where Samus' ship was parked. He sees Samus standing on the edge of it. He struggles against the blizzard to reach her.*  
  
C.Falcon: Samus! Armored Muffin! Get away from the ledge!  
  
Samus: Hush Falcon! I hear it again!  
  
*The rest of the group reaches the ledge and struggle against the raging blizzard to reach Falcon and Samus.*  
  
Kirby: Falcon! Samus! Why are we here?!  
  
Samus: When I tell everyone to jump, we all jump!  
  
Yoshi: What?! Are you crazy?!  
  
Samus: Trust me...don't you hear it too?  
  
*Everyone gets quiet and hears a noise, despite the sound of a raging blizzard; they hear the familiar sound of the throttles on Samus' ship. "Jump!" screams Samus. They all jump off of the ledge and land on something hard...and it's moving! It's the top of Samus' ship. Nana finds herself, slipping off the side of the ship. Popo grabs her but starts to slip too. Captain Falcon grabs and pulls them up with ease. Samus opens the hatch and everyone hops in.*  
  
Kirby: What...happened?!  
  
*The group looks around the ship as they find everyone in it lying on the floor.*  
  
Kirby: They're not...dead, are they!?  
  
Samus: No, they are sleep. Someone must have used sleeping gas. I don't see anyone else, though...  
  
*Samus runs to the cockpit's controls. She examines the controls and settings.*  
  
Samus: Well, whoever did this doesn't fully understand how to work my ship but they did manage to set the ship to circle the mountain.  
  
Yoshi: Why would you hijack a ship and not know how to fly it?  
  
C.Falcon: Damn those seals! Who do they think they are, hijacking armored muffin's ship like that?!  
  
Yoshi: Falcon! How many times do I have to tell you that SEALS DON'T HIJACK SH-  
  
*Yoshi's sentence is cut off as the door to the backroom opens. A large Topi and three seals exit the backroom and stop infront of the group, shocked.*  
  
C.Falcon: Ah-hah! I was right!  
  
Yoshi: I don't understand!  
  
Topi: Get off of my ship!  
  
Samus: Your ship? *The seals clap and wail* this is MY ship! Leave now or be forced out!  
  
Topi: I own this ship now. I always wanted a ship. Now I have one.  
  
C.Falcon: You bastard! You will give her back her ship now!  
  
Topi: That's a woman? I thought it was a man tweaking his voice a bit. *Laughs*  
  
C.Falcon: BASTARD!!!  
  
*Enraged about the comment the Topi made about his "Armored Muffin", Captain Falcon charges forward with a Falcon Punch. He makes a direct hit with the Topi, but it doesn't seem to have done anything.*  
  
Popo: Falcon! Careful! That's not an ordinary Topi!  
  
*The Topi swings his fist, and knocks Captain Falcon all the way across the ships room. Everyone prepares for a battle. The three seals jump Popo and Nana. The Topi grabs Yoshi and tosses him to the side. Kirby readies his hammer. Samus helps Captain Falcon up.*  
  
C.Falcon: I'm okay, armored muffin.  
  
Samus: And to think, I was trying to avoid having battles on my ship.  
  
*The Topi picks up Kirby, but Kirby turns into a stone. The Topi throws Kirby anyway. Popo and Nana's hammer spin blow the seals away. Yoshi gets up but trips over a sleeping Zelda. He then kicks her sleeping body and mumbles. Samus launches a missile at the Topi, but the impact only knocks the Topi back a few inches.*  
  
Nana: The Topi is strong...a little too strong.  
  
Kirby: What are we going to do?  
  
C.Falcon: It's quite obvious that we should throw them off the ship.  
  
Samus: Falcon...that's a great idea!  
  
Yoshi: Falcon had a good idea? Impossible!  
  
*Samus opens the hatch of the ship and Popo and Nana smack the seals out one by one. Everyone gangs up on the Topi and begins to beat on him. Falcon finishes the Topi off with a Falcon Punch. This time, the Topi is knocked through the hatch and disappears in the blizzard. Not long afterwards, everyone wakes up.*  
  
Zelda: Ohhh...I feel like someone kicked me.  
  
Kirby: ...Yoshi did it!  
  
Yoshi: Snitch!  
  
*Slap*  
  
Yoshi: Ouch!  
  
Zelda: Kicking me while I was sleep?!  
  
Yoshi: You shouldn't have been laying in my way!  
  
Mario: What-a happened?  
  
C.Falcon: Seals hijacked the ship!  
  
Yoshi: Technically, a Topi hijacked it. The seals were just helping.  
  
Samus: I guess it had a sleep bomb that knocked everyone out.  
  
*Whip*  
  
Peach: Why didn't you stop them from coming in here?!  
  
Toad: I didn't know they were coming!  
  
*Whip*  
  
Toad: Ah!  
  
Peach: I told you NO EXCUSES!  
  
C.Falcon: Hey, don't whip the little guy like that!  
  
Peach: What...hey, you are one hunk of man!  
  
C.Falcon: Well, um...  
  
*Peach drops the whip and runs over to Falcon. She hops in his arms and throws her arms around his neck.*  
  
Peach: *twirling her finger on Falcon's chest* you wouldn't mind keeping a girl company, would you?  
  
Mario: PEACH-A!  
  
Fox: *mumbling* I told you she was a tramp.  
  
C.Falcon: Well...uh...sorry to disappoint you miss Peach but-  
  
Samus: He's already taken.  
  
Peach: Taken by whom? Surely he can't be taken by a galactic bimbo such as yourself?  
  
Samus: He's mine and proud of it, you royal Hussy.  
  
Fox: I was looking forward to some entertainment. It seems that the wench and the tramp are fighting.  
  
Yoshi: Why are they fighting over Falcon? It looked like Samus didn't even want Falcon in the first place. Why can't they fight over me?  
  
Gannondorf: They aren't fighting over you because they know that big arse dinosaur owns you.  
  
Yoshi: She doesn't own me!  
  
Gannondorf: Sure...  
  
Yoshi: SHYLA DOES NOT OWN ME!  
  
Zelda: How does it feel to get picked on, Yoshi? Who's genderless, or in this case, owned by a big arse dinosaur now?  
  
Yoshi: This isn't funny!  
  
C.Falcon: I cannot cheat on my armored muffin!  
  
Peach: Fawk that galactic bimbo!  
  
Samus: Falcon, put the royal hussy down!  
  
Mario: Let-a go of Peach-a now!  
  
Samus: What? Falcon doesn't want that royal hussy!  
  
Mario: Royal Hussy? She is MY royal-a hussy! Falcon-a cannot-a have her without-a a fight-a!  
  
Peach: Mario, shut up! I'm not going through all this just for him. Besides, there is a much better man in this ship!  
  
*Peach hops out of Falcon's arms and Mario runs towards her. She turns away from Mario and bends down near Fox, who was enjoying the little argument.*  
  
Peach: I...never realized how sexy and handsome Fox was until now.  
  
Zelda: What?! Are you sure you didn't sip some of that gin?  
  
Peach: Now THIS is a real man! *Scratching fox's ear*  
  
Fox: Wha?  
  
Peach: Hold me Fox!  
  
*Peach puts her hand up to her head and falls backwards into Fox's arms.*  
  
Mario: Fox-a! Let-a her go!  
  
Fox: Huh? Tramps aren't my type. Wenches, yes. Tramps? Hell no. You can have her-  
  
*Peach reawakens in Fox's arms with a shock. She slaps him and runs over to Mario.*  
  
Mario: Peach-a! Are you back-a to normal?  
  
Peach: Why was that filthy animal holding me?  
  
Mario: You were flirting with him-a not-a too long-a ago.  
  
Peach: Mario this is no time to be joking!  
  
Mario: But-a you were!  
  
Popo: You guys are strange.  
  
  
  
To Be Continued... 


	12. Chapter 12: Don't Rival My Cuteness

School SUCKS! Who would have known that the first week would be so busy?!  
  
  
Chapter 12: Don't Rival My Cuteness  
  
*After a few more strange events, the group finally settles down to figure out which mascot to get next. They seem to have all come to an agreement...all but one.*  
  
Samus: It's settled. We are getting Pikachu next.  
  
Kirby: No!  
  
Zelda: Kirby...why don't you want to get Pikachu? Is there someone else you want to get first?  
  
Kirby: No! I don't want that rodent to come with us at all.  
  
Yoshi: Kirby actually has a grudge against someone? That's news to me!  
  
Kirby: This is not a joking matter! I do not want him to come!  
  
Zelda: Is there any reason that you don't want him to come?  
  
Kirby: ...well I am the leader. If I don't want him to come then he shouldn't have to come!  
  
Samus: You are acting pretty childish. And you haven't been acting like a leader lately.  
  
Kirby: What?  
  
C.Falcon: Armored Muffin is right. She has been doing everything; maybe she should be our leader!  
  
Kirby: Falcon...no one asked you...  
  
C.Falcon: Asked me what?  
  
Kirby: Shut up...please...  
  
Nana: I should be assassinating the person who got away from me right now!  
  
Popo: Nana...you're not supposed to be thinking about that.  
  
Nana: But...just seeing their blood stained on my dagger would give me much pleasure! And I'd be getting paid aswell!  
  
Peach: *whispering to Mario* She just screams "Psycho".  
  
Mario: Peach...  
  
Fox: Heh, hypocrite.  
  
Peach: What was that?!  
  
Fox: What did you think it was?  
  
Peach: Mario...do something about him...  
  
Mario: Peach, just ignore him-a and-a maybe he'll shut-a up.  
  
Yoshi: Come on Kirby. Out with it! Why don't you like Pikachu?  
  
Kirby: It's...  
  
Yoshi: Oh...I can see it on your face. Jealousy.  
  
Zelda: Kirby, are you jealous of Pikachu?  
  
Kirby: So what if I am?  
  
Samus: What is it that you are jealous of Pikachu for? Is it the fame and glory? Don't worry, we all have our own set of loyal fans.  
  
Kirby: It's not that...  
  
Fox: Ah...the punk probably got his arse kicked and holds it against the damn Pokemon.  
  
Kirby: I DID NOT GET MY ARSE KICKED BY THAT RODENT!  
  
Gdorf: I'm pretty sure the byatch is upset over nothing important.  
  
Kirby: This is important...and I AM NOT A BYATCH!  
  
Gdorf: ...Byatch...  
  
Yoshi: Just tell us what you are jealous of now !  
  
Kirby: It's...it's the fact that Pikachu rivals my cuteness.  
  
Popo: Is that all? Is that the reason why you had everyone worried? You do realize that Nana and I combined could make your cuteness turn into ugliness with our own cuteness...but I hate being "cute".  
  
Kirby: This is important...for years; I have been the cute Nintendo Mascot...I was rivaled by no other because there wasn't a Nintendo Mascot as cute as me. It was like my job to be cute...and then...that...that disgusting rodent and a hundred other Pokemon come from nowhere and became a part of the world of Nintendo.  
  
Mario: You have to admit-a that-a they came from-a nowhere!  
  
Kirby: Well...was I worried? No. Infact, I was glad that we had another world added to the world of Nintendo. Of course, and electric rat would never rival my cuteness. But when we met that day, I realized just how cute he really was. Not only was he cute, but extremely popular amongst many at the time. I eventually entered a cute contest to reassure myself that I was the cutest of them all.  
  
Peach: Hey, I remember that contest! I hosted it!  
  
Kirby: All was going well...until I saw him. He had entered the contest aswell. We both beat all of the other contestants with no problem…but when it came down to just us two...he won. And as he stood on the table next to the trophy twice his size...he looked straight at me with his dark and cold eyes reeking with evilness, he said the most menacing words I had ever heard. Those words were... "Pika, Pika!" I soon realized that this creature was the most evil thing to ever walk the lands of Nintendo.  
  
Yoshi: Great...you are afraid of an electric rodent.  
  
C.Falcon: Kirby, you talk too much.  
  
Samus: Well, since you seem to be so afraid of Pikachu, you don't have to come with us to get it.  
  
Kirby: I am not afraid of that rodent!  
  
Samus: We are here...this should be quick. Requires no more than one person, and I shall be the one to leave. No one better do anything funny.  
  
C.Falcon: I'll keep an eye on everyone, Armored Muffin!  
  
Samus: Don't you ever get tired of calling me that?  
  
C.Falcon: Why, I will never get tired of addressing my bounty huntress!  
  
Samus: Whatever...I'll be back soon.  
  
*Samus taps a button on the cockpit of the ship and the hatch on the top of the ship opens. Samus quickly hops out of the hatch and it closes.*  
  
Yoshi: You know...I'm starting to doubt that you and Samus are in a relationship.  
  
C.Falcon: She is only acting like this because you all are around. If we were alone, she wouldn't hesitate to shift into her romantic mode.  
  
Yoshi: Hmm...I guess it would destroy her bad-arse image.  
  
*Samus jumps off of her ship and realizes that she is in a forest full of Pokemon. She walks and almost trips over a Bulbasaur. She quickly walks around it as it stares her down. She hears voices up ahead and walks between a series of trees. She appears between Ash and Team Rocket.*  
  
Jesse: Give us the Pikachu!  
  
Ash: Never! No one will ever get my Pikachu!  
  
Samus: *ahem* excuse me but could I borrow your Pikachu?  
  
Ash: Sure.  
  
*Ash picks up his Pikachu and gives it to Samus without a second thought.*  
  
James: You bastard...you just gave your Pikachu over without a second thought!  
  
Ash: Yeah...but my Pikachu is getting borrowed. You guys want to keep Pikachu all to yourselves.  
  
Jesse: Well, can we borrow it?  
  
Ash: Too late!  
  
Jesse: Grrr...we will just have to take the Pikachu from that...person?  
  
*Samus charges her cannon and unleashes it upon Team Rocket, blowing them into the air.*  
  
Team Rocket: Team Rocket's blasting off a-  
  
*Before Team Rocket can even finish their phrase, a missile blows them into oblivion. Samus disappears into the forest and reappears infront of her ship, with Pikachu in her arms. She hops through the hatch to find the usual going on.*  
  
Zelda: NO, YOU CANNOT POKE MY CHEST!  
  
Yoshi: Why would I poke it when I know your breasts are artificial anyway.  
  
*Slap*  
  
Yoshi: Ouch!  
  
Zelda: MY BREASTS ARE NOT ARTIFICIAL!  
  
Yoshi: You are starting to slap harder now. Maybe I should wear a face guard.  
  
Samus: We've got our Pokemon!  
  
C.Falcon: Armored Muffin...what happened? We heard an explosion.  
  
Samus: I was just destroying some annoying trash.  
  
Fox: You are the annoying trash that needs to be destroyed.  
  
Samus: Quiet, or I will not provide you with anymore alcohol.  
  
Fox: Fine...as long as you keep the tramp from going psycho again.  
  
Peach: Excuse me?! I am not a tramp and I have no idea what you are talking about!  
  
Fox: Typical of a tramp not to remember what she did earlier.  
  
Peach: Toad? TOAD!  
  
Toad: ...   
  
Samus: Fox, enough.  
  
Fox: I know you secretly agree with me.  
  
Samus: ...   
  
  
To Be Continued... 


	13. Chapter 13: A Little Trip to Onett

Damn you, school! It completely turned my attention away from this. The long awaited return shall be waited for no more!  
  
Chapter 13: A Little Trip to Onett  
  
Samus: Hmm...I guess I didn't notice that Pikachu was sleeping.  
  
Peach: Aw...it's so cute.  
  
Kirby: Hmph!  
  
Yoshi: You know...Pikachu is about five times as cute as Kirby hehehe .  
  
Kirby: Grr...CUTE MY ARSE! You will have to fight that rodent in the Super Smash Brothers Melee tournament.  
  
Peach: Yeah...but I just want to hug and squeeze it right now.  
  
*Kirby looks disgusted by Peach's words. Pikachu begins to wake up, and Peach grabs him, hugs him, and squeezes him until an electric shock fries her.*  
  
Kirby: Heh...do you think it's so cute now?  
  
Pikachu: Pika!  
  
Peach: Eh...I should have remembered that he doesn't like being hugged and squeezed too tight! That was my fault.  
  
*Pikachu hops into Peach's arms and makes a little noise as if he were sorry that he fried her to a crisp. Peach hugs him again but not too tight.*  
  
Peach: Mario, I want a Pikachu for my birthday!  
  
Mario: Where am-a I suppose to get-a one?  
  
Peach: I don't know, just get me one!  
  
Samus: Next stop, Onett! Who is coming?  
  
Kirby: I'll go...just to get away from those two.  
  
Zelda: Onett can't be a bad town...I'll go. Coming, Link?  
  
*Link nods*  
  
Samus: YOU! You have been a waste of space. Do something useful.  
  
Gdorf: Me?  
  
Samus: Yes you. Come with us...and don't destroy anything!  
  
Popo: If you don't mind, Nana and I would like to go.  
  
Samus: Well come on. We are here now.  
  
Peach: Hey, wait! Pikachu and I will come.  
  
Kirby: In that case, I'll stay here.  
  
Yoshi: Guess I'll stay too. Perfect opportunity to tease Kirby beyond imagination...if Falcon doesn't piss him off first   
  
Samus: Well, let's go!  
  
*Samus, Link, Zelda, Peach, Pikachu, Popo and Nana, and Gannondorf hop out of the ship to find themselves in the peaceful surroundings of Onett. Quite a colorful town, this Onett is. Children playing, birds singing, the local police bullying people around...and what a town Onett is! Who would not like it?!*  
  
Gdorf: ...disgusting...  
  
Nana: I agree.  
  
Zelda: What? What is so disgusting about such a peaceful town?  
  
Nana: I want action. There definitely won't be a need for an assassin here.  
  
Gdorf: Peaceful...yuck. This is torture to me!  
  
Peach: Well I like this place! I'm glad this will be an arena in the Super Smash Brothers Melee tournament. Such a nice place to have a fight, don't you agree?  
  
Pikachu: Pika!  
  
Peach: I knew you would!  
  
Nana: Such a place may destroy my will to fight. I want a darker atmosphere.  
  
Gdorf: Nana...have you ever considered becoming a villain?  
  
Nana: No, why?  
  
Gdorf: Well, you seem like the perfect villain! You have a dark atmosphere about you.  
  
Samus: A pink parka doesn't usually give off that "dark atmosphere".  
  
Gdorf: Well...she could work on that. Maybe a black parka would fit the situation a little better?  
  
Nana: Hm...well I do look good in black.  
  
Samus: Enough talk, we should find Ness immediately.  
  
Zelda: Where could he be?  
  
Samus: The town isn't that big so it shouldn't be that hard to find him.  
  
*Everyone walks from where Samus' ship is parked (damn, I still want a ship to park) and into the street, looking for Ness*  
  
Link: ...!  
  
Zelda: What is it, Link?  
  
Link: !!!  
  
Popo: Whoa! He can't talk?  
  
Zelda: Yes he can! It's just that...I believe he doesn't want to talk.  
  
Link: !!!!!  
  
Samus: Something must be wrong, if he is this excited.  
  
*Link begins to jump about, not knowing how to express what he wants everyone to know. Just then, an idea pops up into his head. He points down the other end of the street, signifying that a large truck is heading towards them at full speed. Shocked, everyone jumps off the road as soon as possible. Even though they all tried to get away, the force of the speeding truck sends everyone flying into the wall of a nearby house.*  
  
Samus: You could have pointed a little earlier, Link.  
  
*Link shrugs*  
  
Gdorf: I always knew Link was slow. He can't talk either.  
  
Zelda: He is not slow and he CAN talk!  
  
Peach: Toad? TOAD! No, he is still on the ship. I was so preoccupied with Pikachu that I completely forgot about him.  
  
Pikachu: Pi...ka?  
  
Peach: No, it's not your fault. Toad will get his whipping when we return.  
  
Samus: What do you need Toad for?  
  
Peach: Well someone has to get the number on the back of that truck!  
  
Samus: Can't you get it?  
  
Peach: No! I am a princess. I have people to do things for me.  
  
Popo: Well it doesn't matter; the truck went through the tunnel already.  
  
Pikachu: Cha!  
  
Peach: What is it, Pikachu?  
  
Pikachu: Pika!  
  
Zelda: A bus station. Maybe, just maybe, Ness is in there.  
  
Samus: Well let's check.  
  
*The group, drawing much attention, walks towards the bus station. You don't see people like this everyday in Onett...or not until the Super Smash Brothers Melee Tournament. The doors of the Bus station flung open, and the unfamiliar characters walked into the station. Heads turned towards them.*  
  
Samus: Anyone see him?  
  
Zelda: Is that Ness over there?  
  
Ness: Stupid machine! *Kick*  
  
Samus: Ness? Ness!  
  
Ness: Hey...why are you all here?  
  
Zelda: We wanted to ask you something.  
  
Ness: Sure...right after I deal with this damn ATM machine. *Kick*  
  
Gdorf: You have money? You don't seem like one with money.  
  
Ness: Well I might not have any money if this damn machine doesn't give it to me! *Kick* Yes! That worked!  
  
Gdorf: Where'd you get the money?  
  
Ness: My dad. He pays me by the monster.  
  
Samus: What?  
  
Ness: See, that's how things work in Earthbound. The more monsters I kill, the more money I get from my dad. Their strength will determine the amount of money I get. *Smile*  
  
Peach: I see no monsters...just crazy drivers.  
  
Ness: This is more of a safe area...just your occasional wild dog or snake.  
  
Samus: What we wanted to ask you was if you would come with us to help convince Miyamoto to get HAL to change some of the new strict rules.  
  
Ness: Sure...as long as that Lakitu arsewhole doesn't have anything to do with this.  
  
Zelda: We'll put word in about Lakitu with Miyamoto... *Smile*  
  
Pikachu: Pikachu!  
  
Peach: *sigh* I wish he could talk so I'd understand him better...  
  
Ness: You want him to talk?  
  
Peach: Yeah... *sigh*  
  
Ness: You know, my friend Jeff is in town. He's quite a genius. I'm sure he could make a device that could get Pikachu talking in no time!  
  
Peach: Really?!  
  
Pikachu: Pika!  
  
Ness: Yeah, let's go now.  
  
*After a little walking to Ness' house, the group settles down in his living room. His Mother, baffled, offers the group some tea as Jeff goes to work in Ness' room on a device that can make the Pokemon talk. Ness seals his sister's room shut, so she won't interfere.*  
  
Zelda: Wow...is your sister that bad? Did you have to seal her up in her room?  
  
Ness: She's not a bad kid...she is just big on business. She would probably try to sell you something, or store some of your items for you.  
  
*An explosion erupts from Ness' room.*  
  
Samus: The hell?  
  
Jeff: MY LATEST INVENTION IS COMPLETE!  
  
Peach: Yay! Hurry up and show us!  
  
Jeff: I call this...instant hooked on Phonics...for Pokemon!  
  
Zelda: eh?  
  
*Jeff reveals a gray, metal collar. Nothing seems too special about it...*  
  
Jeff: Put this on Pikachu...and in seconds, he will talk! But you must keep the collar on him if you want him to talk.  
  
*Peach snatches the collar from Jeff's hands and carefully places it on Pikachu's neck. The pokemon begins to sweat, as he does not know what the collar is for. He begins to feel sudden vibrations in his throat...almost to an unbearable point, when it stops.*  
  
Peach: You could have made the collar a little...classier...if you can call what you have made classy. Pink with diamonds would be very classy. Don't you agree, Pikachu?  
  
Jeff: Look lady! I made the device, now YOU decor-  
  
Pikachu: Actually, I would prefer this gray over pink with diamonds.  
  
Peach: Eek! He spoke! It worked!  
  
Jeff: Naturally, it would work.  
  
Pikachu: I spoke? No more pika, pika? FREEDOM AT LAST!  
  
Ness: Now that that's settled we can leave. Bye mom! Don't forget to unseal Sis' room!  
  
*The group leaves Ness' house and heads back to the area of town where Samus' ship was parked (you know what I want) which has now drawn much attention. People have gathered around it, and some people are even tapping on it to see if it's alive. Ness runs down to the crowd and tells them that the spaceship isn't real and that it's just being used in a movie set. The crowd sure enough believed him, and all went back to what they were doing before. The group hops into the ship...Yoshi is chasing Kirby around the ship, teasing him...like he had planned.*  
  
Kirby: SHUT UP!  
  
Yoshi: You know Pikachu defeats you in all aspects, not just cuteness.  
  
Kirby: No! SHUT UP!  
  
Fox: Haha! This has turned into quite an entertaining show.  
  
Samus: How long have they been doing that?  
  
Fox: Guess, wench! Haha!  
  
Samus: *sigh* I don't have time for this. Every time I leave the ship, chaos breaks loose. Falcon! FALCON!  
  
C.Falcon: Um...back here, armored muffin!  
  
*Samus enters the backroom of her ship...to find Captain Falcon tied to a chair.*  
  
Samus: What happened!?  
  
C.Falcon: Well...I accidentally got Kirby mad at me again. Of course, he beat me around with the hammer a bit before he tied me up, though.  
  
Samus: Ugh, Falcon!  
  
*Samus begins to untie Falcon from the chair, but before she can finish, she hears shouts coming from the front.*  
  
Fox: OUCH! FAWKERS! THAT WAS MY DAMN TAIL!  
  
*Fox pulls out his blaster, and starts letting off rounds at Yoshi and Kirby, who are running around the ship trying to get away from him. One of the fired shots hits Shyla's foot. She hops in pain and tips over on top of Zelda and Link, who are now trying to lug the big-arse dinosaur off of themselves. Gannondorf and Nana begin to argue over if she should be a villain or not. Peach begins to whip Toad, as she stated she would earlier. Samus begins to moan.*  
  
Samus: Why do I have to deal with this? 


	14. Chapter 14: Perverted Reptile's Plan

Chapter 14: Perverted Reptile's Plan  
  
*A few minutes later, Samus has managed to calm everyone down. She took Fox's blaster away from him so he wouldn't shoot holes into Yoshi and Kirby. She helped pull Link and Zelda out from under Shyla. Nana seems to have won the argument with Gannondorf...but he sits in a corner thinking of more ways to convince her to become a villain. Peach finally stopped whipping Toad. Samus sits in her chair at the cockpit, and begins to relax as the chaos is over...for now.*  
  
Samus: I think we all need a break.  
  
Pikachu: I cannot rest at a time like this! I must find this books' secret!  
  
*Pikachu pulls out a large dictionary and begins to scan it anxiously.*  
  
Samus: Whatever...I'm getting me some sleep.  
  
*Samus leans back in her chair and begins to doze off. The other mascots begin to relax aswell.*  
  
C.Falcon: Um...hello? Anyone? I am still tied to this chair! Armored muffin was trying to untie me, but she stopped. Hello? Anyone!? Help me...please?  
  
*Everyone had dozed off so Falcon's cries for help went unheard…well all but Shyla and Yoshi were sleep, and the anxious Pikachu reading the dictionary. Shyla whispers to Yoshi and Yoshi whispers back. A smile appears on Shyla's face. The two dinosaurs dash into the backroom, and throw the restrained Falcon out of the room, leaving him lying on the floor, still tied to the chair. Falcon begins to yell for help again. Pikachu is too entertained by the dictionary to even realize that Falcon is there. Falcon's yells wake Fox up. He simply walks up to Falcon, kicks him a few times hoping he would shut up, and goes back to where he was to sleep again. A few minutes later, a tapping on the cockpit window awakens Samus. She opens her eyes to find a little man in a black suit with a camera in his hand standing on the cockpit window, smiling at her. She sits forward in surprise and anger.*  
  
Samus: Who are you?! Are you some kind of stalker?!  
  
Man: ...Say "Fuzzy Pickles"!  
  
Samus: Fuzzy...Pickles?  
  
*Snap*  
  
Samus: Hey! Is this some kind of joke?! I did not want my picture taken!  
  
Man: Toodles!  
  
*The little man spins around and floats into the air, disappearing from which he came.*  
  
Samus: I better take off before something else weird like that happens in this town.  
  
*Samus pushes the "launch" button in the cockpit. The ship then takes off into the air and out of Onett. Samus sits back in her chair again, this time, holding a pen and a notepad with several names scratched out. She scratches off "Ness" on the notepad and holds her head in disgust as she reads the next name on the list, "Bowser". She did not want to deal with him and she knew that no one else wanted too aswell. Everyone knows how perverted Bowser is, especially after the incident with Peach a month ago. If he can't have Peach then another female Nintendo mascot would do. Samus wouldn't mind blasting Bowser off of the face of Nintendo, but then Mario wouldn't have a villain to beat on in every one of his games. Everyone is still asleep or occupied. Samus flies the ship to Bowser's Castle. The ship hovers above the castle and Samus presses the "Communicator" button. A transparent video window appears on the cockpit glass revealing Bowser sitting in his chair, looking bored.*  
  
Bowser: Peach...I shall have my time with you again. This time, I will thrust in a few more areas I didn't get to explore before.  
  
Troopa: *Ahem*  
  
Bowser: What is it?!  
  
Troopa: Sir, Samus Aran is communicating with you through a video window.  
  
Bowser: Samus...I wonder what she could have to offer me...  
  
Samus: More than what you could ever handle.  
  
Bowser: You...wouldn't happen to know where Peach is, would you?  
  
Samus: N-O-Y-B  
  
Bowser: And what does that stand for?  
  
Samus: None of Your Business.  
  
Bowser: Very amusing...of course, I'd rather be amused by Peach.  
  
Samus: Pervert, go and get a life beyond Peach. She is nothing but a Royal Hussy.  
  
Bowser: Yes...but I will make her MY royal hussy. She shall entertain me for all eternity.  
  
Samus: ENOUGH ABOUT PEACH! I am here to ask you if you would come with the rest of the mascots to convince Miyamoto to get HAL to change the new strict rules in the Super Smash Brothers Melee Tournament.  
  
Bowser: Hmmm...I have to think about it...  
  
Samus: We don't have forever. Either you come or you don't.  
  
Bowser: Well...DK is here too...but he is lost. If you help me find him I may consider going. There is no need to get all of the other mascots. He shouldn't be that hard to find.  
  
Samus: So why haven't you found him yet?  
  
Bowser: Because I haven't gotten off of my lazy arse yet. I don't have much inspiration without Peach.  
  
Samus: Whatever.  
  
*Zip*  
  
Troopa: Sir, are you really going to help her? And DK isn't lost; he is over there eating bananas.  
  
Bowser: I KNOW THAT! This is just apart of my plan to get Peach.  
  
Troopa: Sorry, sir. I should have known better than to question your intelligence.  
  
*Samus creeps out of her ship, trying not to disturb anyone. She hops out of the ship and walks into Bowser's castle. The castle seems empty as she walks down the long corridors full of fearsome looking statues. Samus sees a shadow come from around a corner. She quickly takes aim with her Cannon, until the shadow is recognized as Bowser and his Troopa servant.*  
  
Samus: Did you find DK?  
  
Bowser: No, but it seems that he found you!  
  
Samus: What?  
  
*DK jumps out of the shadows with a barrel in hands. He slams the barrel into Samus, knocking her unconscious.*  
  
Bowser: Bring her to the throne room...this plan of action is complete.  
  
Troopa: What is next, sir?  
  
Bowser: You'll see soon.  
  
*A blank video window appears in the cockpit of Samus ship, waiting to be answered. The video window beeps several times, going unanswered. The beep wakes Captain Falcon, who is still tied to the chair. He begins to yell for Samus to tell her that the video window needs answering, not realizing that she is gone. Fox is awakened by Falcon's yelling again. He goes over to kick Falcon some more when he hears the beeping of the video window.*  
  
C.Falcon: I was trying to get armored muffin to answer it but she must be gone!  
  
Fox: Is this what has been bothering you? If I answer it will you shut the hell up and let me sleep?  
  
C.Falcon: Yes, please answer it. I have a feeling that it is important.  
  
*Fox walks over to the video window and pushes on the "Answer" button. An image appears with Bowser holding his arm around a chained Samus. Samus is awake.*  
  
Bowser: Ah...I knew someone would be on her ship. Oh, it's you...  
  
Fox: You pervert fawker! What business do you have?  
  
Bowser: I know Peach is on that ship...  
  
*Samus starts to shake her head trying to signify to Fox not to let Bowser know that Peach is on the ship but he ignores her.*  
  
Fox: Yeah, the tramp is on this ship.  
  
Bowser: I will offer you a trade. You give me Peach in exchange for Samus.  
  
Fox: Hmm...a wench, or a tramp?  
  
Bowser: You don't seem to be taking me seriously. I shouldn't have expected alcoholic lowlife animal scum such as yourself to take this seriously.  
  
Fox: Fawker, we have some unfinished business to settle.  
  
Bowser: That, we do.  
  
Samus: Bastard! Free me!  
  
Bowser: No, you are my perfect ticket for getting Peach.  
  
Samus: I will get revenge! I will start by slapping your mother for giving birth to you.  
  
*Slap*  
  
Bowser: Shut up about my mother, byatch!  
  
Samus: You slap like a preschooler.  
  
Bowser: Do you want me to rape you or something?  
  
Samus: Spare me that torture. Hell is probably more enjoyable.  
  
*After much struggling, Captain Falcon has managed to untie himself from the chair. He runs over to the video window, knocking Fox to the side.*  
  
Fox: Fawker! I was in the middle of something!  
  
C.Falcon: ARMORED MUFFIN!  
  
Bowser: Ah, someone who cares. Give me Peach, or I will rape the hell out of Samus and hang her raped body infront of my castle for all to see.  
  
C.Falcon: YOU BASTARD!  
  
Bowser: Well, bye. I hope to see Peach soon, or I will have to settle for Samus to take my sexual frustrations out on.  
  
*The video window closes with a laughing Bowser and a pissed Samus. Along with an equally pissed Captain Falcon on the other side.* 


	15. Some old Q & A!

Q&A!  
  
This is some old questions and answers thing I did on the message board I was writing this for. I thought that this shouldn't have been left out, although no one here got the chance to ask questions (don't worry, I'm doign something like this that FF.net members can participate in later on). This isn't te original...well it is but the character's input is included aswell.  
  
  
  
  
It's time for our first group of questions. YAY! I am lucky I got to these, this connection is acting quite fawked up (Yoshi: Step One, DITCH AOL!)  
  
Claude: Our very first question comes from...wimker! His question is directed too Ganondorf! It reads... "My question is for G-dorf: Do you have any plans to take advantage of all these good characters in a confined space? Any evil plans mustering in your mind?   
  
~wim"   
  
Ganondorf: SHHHH!!!! It is too risky to reveal such plans in the mist of the very people I might destroy. Besides, I could use some of those byatches before I destroy them. Wait, why am I telling you any of this?   
  
Claude: Because it is a way for the fans to interact with the characters. Now be gone, there are more questions to be answered.   
  
Ganondorf: I go where I please. I am staying right here. (Claude: If I really wanted him to go, I would have forced him.)  
  
Claude: FINE! Stay there and be ignored as I read the next question...from OnslaughtRM! Wow...he has a few questions...let us begin.   
Onslaught asks..."To Pikachu, what is your opinion on the system of slavery that is the whole Pokemon world?"   
  
Pikachu: Pika! Pikachu!   
  
Claude: ...*whispers* everyone knows you can talk becasue you have the collar on.   
  
Pikachu: *whispering* what if I don't want to answer the question?   
  
Claude: Answer it so we can move on!   
  
Pikachu: Well...I wouldn't call it slavery. I'd call some sort of cooperation. For we Pokemon could kill our trainers in a snap if we wanted to. But a Pokemon will willingly fight for it's trainer if they have a close bond. But then, there are those abusive trainers...I KNOW WHO YOU ARE. I WILL HUNT ALL OF YOU DOWN. (Claude: ...did that even make sense? Pikachu: That's why I didn't want to answer the question!)  
  
Claude: Okay...Onslaught's next question was:   
  
"To Nana, if you could kill anyone, who would it be? "   
  
Nana: It would be Gannondorf. His dumbarse keeps bothering me. Does he not realize that I do not want to be a villain? He can't even come up with good reasons why I should...except for the black parka. (Gannondorf: I sense the dark side in this one...)  
  
Claude: His next question...   
  
"To Gdorf, what are you waiting for man! Destroy and conquer! You have Link and Zelda in the ship waiting for you to destroy them! Do it! (alright, this isn't much of a question)"   
  
Ganondorf: HAH! I knew it was a good idea to stay. I will conquer when the time is right...you just wait and see. (Claude: We waited, and we saw NOTHING.)  
  
Claude: *Mumble* ... the next question...   
  
"To Mario and Peach, what are your plans when you find Luigi, and will a torture chamber filled with Virtual Boys be involved?"   
  
Peach: Our plans...well, the torture will start with the classic whipping. Luigi will pay!   
  
Mario: Hmm...I never thought-a of the using the Vitural-a Boy...   
  
Peach: Virtual Boy...let us set up the dungeon! (Peach: Hey! We never did that!)  
  
Claude: ...you go do that. Our final questions are from SuperSonic8. His questions read...   
  
"this question is for you clade will add jiggleypuff and make here Kirby's girl friend."   
  
Claude: *sniff* SOMEONE WAS ACTUALLY CONSIDERATE AND ASKED ME A QUESTION! (Claude: Which didn't happen often. Yoshi: Well I have a question to ask: WHY WASN'T I INCLUDED IN THIS?! Claude: Because no one asked questions about you! Yoshi: Well, you could have made some up!) I'm so happy To tell you the truth, I haven't come up with a solid base for Jigglypuff...but I will soon (Claude: I have a base for Jigglypuff. The question, now, is how to get her in the story…). And Jigglypuff will eventually be in the story...or the next   
  
"this question is for kirby do you have a crush on anyone ?"   
  
Kirby: ...how could you ask me something like that *blush* crushes are suppose to be secret.   
  
Claude: Does the blushing actually mean you do have a crush on someone? AND I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT IT?!   
  
Kirby: ...   
  
Claude: Well, that's it for this round of questions. I am still in the middle of the next chapter so keep your eye out for it. I will find out who you have a crush on.   
  
Kirby: ...no you won't (Precis: A crush! How cute! Kirby: No it's not!)  
  
Claude: two new questions have just come up...both from Nikovich (we all knew he would ask a question )   
  
  
to Samus: "Do you really like Captain Falcon or are you just humoring his cornball ass?"   
  
Samus: You won't believe how many times I am asked that question. Falcon actually interests me. I believe our relationship will go somewhere...hopefully, not down the gutter. He also has good intentions for I would never be caught with someone like Bowser. That disgusting reptile.   
  
Claude: Heh..."cornball ass"   
  
Samus: That IS NOT funny!   
  
Claude: His second question...we all knew it was coming...   
  
to Fox: "We all know you could beat the ass of everyone in that ship (Claude: HAH! Fox: You think that is funny?), so there must be something keeping you there besides kirby's proof of you and Pepper's daughter. Also, it would only be his word vs yours, and Pepper would never believe anyone over you. So what are your REAL motives for staying?"   
  
Fox: I am obviously using the fawkers to get to Miyamoto. I have plans for him...and once those plans are complete, I will exterminate there arses! Everyone of them! I also hard (Claude: Hard? Fox: HEARD! You are the one with bad spelling! Claude: My spelling is just fine!) some stupid fawkers say that I got owned in the first story. I DID NOT GET OWNED. I simply let that happen for I knew it would have good results for me. SO SHUT YOUR DUMB ARSES UP!   
  
Claude: Yeah, yeah...you didn't get owned ( ). And no, you will not exterminate all of the characters. I wouldn't have enough characters for my story if you did.   
  
Fox: Be that way you stupid fawker!   
  
Claude: J0 momma!   
  
Fox: Where is that damn shotgun...   
  
Claude: Fawk this...well that is it for all of the questions tonight!   
  
Fox: There it is...come here fawker!   
  
Claude: Bye! *speeds off* (Claude: Meh...now that I think about it, Fox couldn't touch me. I have the ultra powerful Phase Gun...and he has a mere Shotgun. Fox: You weren't saying that THEN!)  
  
Claude: Both of these questions are from SupaProxy and are for Kirby...the hell kind of questions are these?   
  
Kirby: What? Lemme see!   
  
"Kirby, have you and Pikachu ever have wild pationate jungle sex?   
  
kirby, when was the last time you sat on a toilet and did it hurt? if it hurt please go into detail about why it hurt and how much it hurt." (Claude: And I repeat, "the hell kind of questions are these?")  
  
Kirby: WTF?   
  
Claude: You can say that again.   
  
Kirby: WTF?   
  
Claude: SupaProxy is somewhat of a pervert. (Kirby: Somewhat was an understatement)  
  
Kirby: WTF?   
  
Claude: You can stop now. (Kirby: WTF? Claude: That one is acceptable because I feel like saying that every time I read SupaProxy's question.)  
  
Kirby: I never expected to get hit with a question like this!   
  
Claude: Perverted questions from a perverted mind (Precis: Exactly)  
  
Kirby: Me and Pikachu? UGH! I am going to puke *runs off*   
  
Claude: *slaps SupaProxy* (Zelda: I do the slapping! Claude: And punching! Yoshi: ...) Look what you did Oh, well. As long as he doesn't puke on the floor.   
  
Kirby: Um, a little clean up over here? (Precis: Kirby is so cute! Kirby: No, I am not. *sweatdrop*)  
  
Claude: *sigh*   
  
We have more questions...okay, both of them are from the same person but it's still new questions. Both are from Pollo2002   
  
"I have 2 questions   
First one is for Bowser: What are you gonna do with Samus if they don't give you Peach?"   
  
Bowser: First of all, it will teach them that I mean business. Second, I haven't raped anything in awhile, and Samus is the next best thing to Peach...although the experience will be nothing like the one I had with Peach.   
  
Claude: And you may never have that experience with Peach again   
  
Bowser: WHAT? I BETTER GET MY TIME WITH PEACH AGAIN! (Bowser: I didn't! You will pay for that! Claude: Threatening the author is not a good idea.)  
  
"Second one is for you Kirby: Do you think you can ever be Pikachu's friend? I mean, now that he talks, he is not so cute and you are as cute as ever."   
  
Kirby: Me? Friends with that? NEVAR! (Pikachu: My feelings are hurt…)  
  
Claude: You are quite stubborn. I never realized that... (Claude: I wonder why I didn't realize that until then?)  
  
Kirby: I AM NOT STUBBORN!   
  
Claude: There are some issues I want to clear up...it seems that some people think the fanfic has stopped because of the questions...that's not true. I am still working on the new chapter, I've just been busy lately. Almost haven't had the time to do these questions   
  
Claude: Our latsest (Fox: Another example of YOUR SUCKY SPELLING! Claude: I'd like to see you do better.) questions come from noodle90210   
  
"1.) for peach, why are you a mean, spoiled *****? shouldn't princesses be kind and helpful? y can't u be more like zelda? can you beat up bowser's candy ass? why are cats red? and am i asking too much questions?"   
  
Peach: What? HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT?! Zelda? Haven't you heard, that thing is genderless! (Zelda: I am not! Yoshi: Yes, you are!) I would never be anything like Zelda! And Fawk Bowser! Cat's are not red! What have you been smoking?   
  
Claude: Now now, no insulting the fans. Hopefully, he isn't smoking anything illegal... (Yoshi: It must have been some good stuff!)  
  
"2.) for nana, popo ate your ham sandwich, r u going to do anything to him? "   
  
Nana: Yes, I am going to make him make me another one! If you haven't noticed, I basically own him.   
  
Popo: YOU DO NOT OWN ME!   
  
Claude: Why you two debate over who owns who...I'll get back to work on the newest chapter   
  
Claude: Pollo2002 asks another question:   
  
"Ok, for Samus: Do you pan to marry Falcon in the future?"   
  
Samus: That is actually a good question. Only the future will answer this question... (Samus: ...and the future has yet to answer it...)  
  
C.Falcon: What? Don't you want to marry me, Armored Muffin?   
  
Samus: I never said that I didn't!  
  
Claude: New questions from InvincibleAgent   
  
"Bowser: Do you care about what Captain Falcon might do if you rape Samus?"   
  
Boswer: HAH! As if he COULD do anything to me! Even with a Nuclear warhead the idiot would destroy himself before he'd be able to touch me! (C.Falcon: I am not an idiot!)  
  
"Ganondorf: How do you feel about Samus calling you a "Waste of space" earlier? "   
  
GDorf: As if Samus could comprehend what a waste of space is. The byatch probably didn't even mean what she said. (Samus: You are worse than a waste of space. You are a blackhole sucking up everything around you into a pit of despair. You should be destroyed. Zelda: Amen! Link: ...!)  
  
"Kirby: Could you see Jigglypuff as YOUR TYPE?"   
  
Kirby: It depends on her personality...but that really ain't your business in the first place.   
  
Claude: No disreaspecting the fans. It will be his business in a matter of chapters...   
  
"Kirby: You say that you dislike Pikachu, but does the same thing go for Pichu and Raichu?"   
  
Kirby: I have a reason to dislike that filthy electric rodent. Pichu and Richu (Kirby: You're spelling sucks! Claude: I wrote this in a hurry! Why does everyone think that my spelling sucks?! Fox: Because it DOES!) have yet to give me one.   
  
Claude: Don't you feel atleast a bit threatened by their cuteness?   
  
Kirby: Their cuteness is beneath mine.   
  
Claude: Cocky, now, are we?   
  
Kirby: I AM NOT GETTING COCKY! (Kirby: Okay, now I admit it. I was a bit cocky there. Precis: You are SO cute when you are cocky! Kirby: *sigh*)  
  
"Claude: When are Marth and Roy going to be in the story?"   
  
Claude: Eventually...they will make their appearances. (Claude: Oh, looky. They did! Marth: Why am I not apart of these questions? Claude: Before your time...but you may get your chance in the future.) 


	16. Chapter 15: The Rescue Mission

Chapter 15: The Rescue Mission  
  
Fox: I have never seen the fawker go that low.  
  
C.Falcon: Why armored muffin? Why did he have to take her? I have to get her back!  
  
*Fox walks over to Peach and kicks her lightly with his foot, trying to wake her.*  
  
C.Falcon: What are you doing? You aren't really thinking about giving her to Bowser, are you?!  
  
Fox: Well, why not?  
  
C.Falcon: You monster!  
  
Fox: Heh, Peach is only going to be our ticket into the castle. Once we get in there, Bowser's arse will be kicked.  
  
C.Falcon: I am going to kick his arse. You get Samus out of there.  
  
Fox: Fawk Samus! I am only going there to kick Bowser's arse, not to save the wench.  
  
Peach: *waking up* what...is with all of the yelling?  
  
C.Falcon: Ms. Peach...we need your assistance in helping us save armored muffin.  
  
Peach: Us?  
  
C.Falcon: Fox and I are going.  
  
Peach: I am not going anywhere with him!  
  
Fox: Look, tramp, we just need-  
  
*Peach walks up and slaps Fox across the face. Fox simply slaps her back. Peach stumbles backwards and bangs her head into the side of the ship. She holds her head for a moment as she transforms into "Crazy Tramp" again. She, once again, takes her crown and high-heels off while loosening her hair. She then runs up to Fox and throws her arms over him.*  
  
Peach: You were saying...you wanted my help? I'd do anything for a man like you.  
  
Fox: Well, uh...we need you to come to Bowser's castle with us.  
  
Peach: Can we kick the fawker's arse?  
  
Fox: Sure... she doesn't seem like such a bad tramp after all  
  
C.Falcon: Shall we go?  
  
Peach: He is going? He isn't as much of a man as you are, Fox.  
  
C.Falcon: But we have to save armored muffin!  
  
Peach: That galactic bimbo? Fox, do we have to save her?  
  
Fox: No, we don't. Infact, we can watch Bowser rape the wench.  
  
Peach: I like that idea.  
  
C.Falcon: WHAT?! We are-  
  
Fox: *whispering to Falcon* Shhhhh! We have to manipulate her into coming with us. She might not come if she knows that you are trying to save the wench.  
  
C.Falcon: SAMUS IS NOT A WENCH!  
  
Fox: You're going to wake everyone else up you dumb fawker!  
  
*Peach opens the hatch of the ship and climbs halfway out.*  
  
Peach: Let's hurry up and go! I want some time to spend with Fox after this. *Wink*  
  
*Falcon and Fox also climb out of the ship and make their way to Bowser's castle. Inside of Bowser's Throne room, the chained up Samus is sitting on Bowser's Throne. Bowser's servant, Troopa, is now making several cruel body languages towards Samus after she called him "Bowser's sex toy". Bowser enters the Throne room with a disturbing smile on his face.*  
  
Troopa: Fantasizing about Peach again, sir?  
  
Bowser: I can't help but remember that day...the day I finally got to rape Peach. The constant spinning and flipping of this shell on my very body...PEACH SHALL BE MINE ONCE AGAIN!  
  
Samus: It is sad to see you obsessed with a hussy such as Peach. What is so good about raping people, anyway?  
  
Bowser: If no one brings me Peach, you will see.  
  
Troopa: Sir...I have been wondering. How do you know that that…that thing in armor is a woman?  
  
Bowser: YOU DARE QUESTION MY ABILITY TO IDENTIFY WOMEN?!  
  
Troopa: NO SIR!  
  
Samus: Yes Bowser...how do you know that I am a woman? While you are trying to get your thrusts in, I may be thrusting back *Samus winks behind the visor*  
  
Bowser: Don't play games with me, woman. You will not get out of being raped unless Peach is brought to me. And believe me, I would enjoy raping Peach a lot more than raping you...  
  
Samus: HAH! The only reason you rape woman is because you aren't man enough to satisfy them in a normal fashion.  
  
Bowser: I could satisfy any woman I want too! Raping is just more fun, and you will see in a few minutes *Wink*  
  
*A door inside Bowser's castle opens, revealing Captain Falcon, Peach, and Fox. The doorway led to a long hallway with a checkered floor. Bowser statues populate the hallway. It was dimly lit; only a few torches in the hallway were lit.*  
  
Peach: Fox, honey, why did you want me to bring this harpoon again?  
  
Fox: Don't call me "honey" ever again. And you will throw the harpoon into his crotch when we find him. That should teach the fawker a lesson for trying to bite my head off from our last encounter.  
  
Peach: Ooo! Disable his raping tool! I love that idea, baby.  
  
Fox: Don't call me "baby" either.  
  
Peach: Okay, honey. *Wink*  
  
Fox: Grrr... *Sigh*   
  
C.Falcon: Can we hurry up and find armored muffin already?  
  
Fox: Wait...I am sure this hallway is filled with traps.  
  
C.Falcon: Which means?  
  
Fox: IT MEANS WALK CAREFULLY YOU DUMB FAWKER!  
  
Peach: I love it when he gets angry! SPANK ME! I'VE BEEN BAD!  
  
Fox: NOW IS NOT THE TIME, TRAMP!  
  
Peach: No fair, you can call me "tramp" but I can't call you "baby". Well, I love it when you call me tramp anyway. *Wink*  
  
C.Falcon: I cannot take this anymore! Samus could be getting raped as we speak!  
  
Peach: Then go get her while my baby and I spend some time together.  
  
C.Falcon: I think I will!  
  
Fox: Wait! The traps dumb fawker!  
  
*Captain Falcon had already taken a few steps before Fox reminded him of the traps. The last step he took just happened to be on a rigged tile. A hole in the ceiling opens up, dropping 5 bob-bombs onto Fox and Peach, who are blown to the other side of the hallway. Captain Falcon ducks and covers his head from the explosion.*  
  
C.Falcon: ...oops.  
  
Peach: OUCH! Damn you Falcon!  
  
Fox: {I have censored this sentence for it's content which is unsuitable for ALL ears and have replaced it with this smiling face} :)   
  
C.Falcon: *Gasp* my ears have been defiled in all possible ways!  
  
Peach: Honey...that was a little harsh. I hope you direct that at me sometime. I love a man who says things like that *Wink*  
  
Fox: Stop calling me "honey"! And the dumb fawker's idiocy pissed me off!  
  
C.Falcon: I am not an idiot!  
  
Peach: BE MORE CAREFUL FALCON! I don't want anything bad to happen to my baby *Wink*  
  
Fox: Stop calling me "baby" and stop winking at me, dammit!  
  
*Bowser begins to pace back and forth in his Throne Room. Samus and Troopa watches as he continues to growl and pace.*  
  
Bowser: What is taking them so long!  
  
Troopa: Sir, you did set traps in the castle...maybe they were destroyed by them?  
  
Bowser: THEY CHOOSE NOW TO GET DESTROYED BY A FEW MEASLY TRAPS?!  
  
Troopa: Or...maybe they are on their way now.  
  
Bowser: That's it. I've waited too long.  
  
Troopa: Sir, you are ready?  
  
*Bowser grabs the chained Samus and walks to his bedroom door.*  
  
Bowser: If anyone comes, keep them busy. I have some "work" to do.  
  
Troopa: What if Peach comes?  
  
Bowser: Trap her! I will get to her later. Samus, I am going to make you scream my name so loud that Miyamoto will here it. *Wink*  
  
Samus: Bastard!  
  
*Bowser walks into his bedroom, slings the chained Samus onto the bed, and closes the door, leaving a "Do Not Disturb" sign on it.* 


	17. Chapter 16: Rapists Suck!

Chapter 16: Rapists Suck  
  
*Captain Falcon, Fox, and Peach are all holding onto a rope hanging from the ceiling, clinging on for their very lives. Falcon set off another trap...a lava pit trap.*  
  
Fox: You stupid fawker! I should kick you into the lava!  
  
C.Falcon: I didn't know that the red button was going to open the floor up! I thought it was going to open the door!  
  
Fox: You are the dumbest fawker I have ever met!  
  
Peach: Honey...the button did open the door...so instead of taking your rage out on Falcon, you could please us both by spanking me. *Wink*  
  
Fox: Our arses are hanging on a rope, about to be burnt by a pool of lava and you want me to spank you?!  
  
Peach: The more danger, the more fun it is. *Wink*  
  
C.Falcon: AH! The lava is rising! We have to get in the door!  
  
Peach: That's easy!  
  
*Peach simply jumps from off of the rope and floats over to the door while landing perfectly in the doorway. She turns around to cheer her "baby" on.*  
  
Peach: Come on, honey! You can reach the ledge too!  
  
C.Falcon: Ms. Peach...some of us don't have such jumping skills!  
  
*Fox jumps off of the rope and to the door. He barely makes it, but he manages to grab the ledge. As Fox begins to pull himself up, Falcon jumps off of the rope and to the ledge. He isn't as lucky with his jumping and begins to fall. He grabs Fox's tail, holding on for his life. Pain surges through Fox's body as his tail is being squeezed and pulled on by Captain Falcon.*  
  
Fox: Ugh!  
  
Peach: Honey, what's wrong?!  
  
Fox: The dumb fawker is pulling on my tail! It feels like it's going to fall off!  
  
Peach: FALCON! Let go! I have "plans" for that tail scheduled for tonight!  
  
Fox: You could atleast try helping me up, tramp!  
  
Peach: Oh, right!  
  
*Peach begins to help pull Fox into the door. Fox and Captain Falcon successfully make it into the door. Peach slaps Captain Falcon.*  
  
C.Falcon: Ouch!  
  
Peach: What the hell were you thinking grabbing onto my baby's tail like that?!  
  
C.Falcon: I didn't think he would mind help saving my life!  
  
Peach: If his tail is damaged in anyway...I hope that that galactic bimbo gets raped!  
  
C.Falcon: *Gasp* Samus! I forgot! We have been in here for almost a half hour! She must have been raped by now! DAMN YOU BOWSER!  
  
Fox: *rubbing tail* if it's anyone's fault that she got raped, it's yours! You are a trap magnet! I will never travel anywhere that is trap infested with a dumb fawker like you!  
  
Peach: Honey, is your tail hurt?  
  
Fox: Only a little...not that it's your damn business anyway!  
  
Peach: Aw, don't worry, baby. Your tail will feel better after we put the whipped cream on it later tonight. *Wink*  
  
Fox: WHAT?!  
  
C.Falcon: Why would you put whipped cream on his tail?  
  
Peach: Mind your business, Falcon!  
  
Fox: You are not going to put whipped cream on my tail...or any other part of my body!  
  
Peach: Oh, so you are going to put it on me instead?  
  
Fox: There will be no whipped cream at all!  
  
Peach: I see...well, I have banana pudding! That is probably way more fun than whipped cream!  
  
C.Falcon: How can food be fun?  
  
Fox: *Sigh*  
  
Peach: Honey...what is that?  
  
*Peach points into the depths of the hall as a shadowy figure guards a large red door. The figure is aware of the presence of Falcon, Fox, and Peach. It begins to walk towards them.*  
  
C.Falcon: Bowser! You bastard! I know that's you! Falcon Kick!  
  
*Captain Falcon charges at the figure in a Falcon Kick. The shadowed figure steps into the light, revealing himself to be Donkey Kong. Falcon stops in his tracks before his Falcon Kick collided with the gorilla.*  
  
C.Falcon: Oh...it's just you, DK. Have you seen Samus?  
  
DK: Are you here to take her from Bowser?  
  
C.Falcon: Well, yeah...  
  
*Punch*  
  
*The large gorilla's fist collided with the side of Falcon's head, sending him flying back towards Fox and Peach.*  
  
C.Falcon: What are you doing?! Samus is in trouble!  
  
DK: Bowser has ordered me to beat-up anyone who tries to interrupt his rape session.  
  
C.Falcon: Why would you work for him, anyway?  
  
DK: I get a ton of bananas!  
  
Fox: Figures...  
  
DK: ARGH!  
  
*DK charges towards Falcon, Peach, and Fox. DK comes flying forward with a punch. Falcon backs up against the wall to avoid it, Fox hops over the head of DK, kicking it while in the process. DK stumbles over towards Peach. She jumps back to avoid being the gorilla's cushion. Falcon and Fox take this as an opportunity to kick and stomp DK while he's down. DK gets up with a spin, knocking Falcon and Fox down. Peach begins to throw turnips at the gorilla, but they bounce off of his chest like a paper ball.*  
  
Peach: Uh...honey? Would now be a good time to throw the harpoon?  
  
Fox: No, that's for Bowser!  
  
DK: ...honey? HAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Peach: Do you find our relationship funny?!  
  
Fox: WHAT RELATIONSHIP?!?!  
  
DK: You...and him? HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Peach: That is not funny!  
  
*Peach pulls another turnip from the ground. The face of the turnip instantly changes to a "NO I'M GONNA DIE!!!!!"-like face as she stuffs a bob-bomb into the mouth of the turnip. She chucks the turnip at DK who is gasping for air from his laughing fit. A loud explosion echoes through the hall as DK ricochets off of the small walls of the hallway and crashes through the red door he was once guarding. Falcon, Fox, and Peach enter Bowser's throne room to find an unconscious DK and a surprised Troopa guarding the bedroom door.*  
  
Troopa: Um...HALT!  
  
C.Falcon: Where is armored muffin!?  
  
Troopa: Who?  
  
C.Falcon: SAMUS!  
  
Troopa: Oh, it's you guys...and...PEACH?! Bowser will be pleased!  
  
Peach: Where is that bastard anyway? I'm tired of carrying this harpoon!  
  
Troopa: Definitely not in here! *steps infront of bedroom door*  
  
*Thump*  
  
*Squeak*  
  
C.Falcon: What's that noise?  
  
*Inside the bedroom*  
  
Samus: OUCH!  
  
Bowser: It wouldn't hurt so much if you took the suit off!  
  
Samus: Never!  
  
*thwack*  
  
Bowser: Ouch...that cannon is hard!  
  
Samus: Don't make me screw you!  
  
Bowser: SCREW ME BABY!  
  
*Samus does the screw attack straight into Bowser sending him into the wall. She launches her grappling beam and slings him across the room. She then finishes him off with a missile sending him through the door of the bedroom. He flies into the throne room landing ontop of Troopa. Samus walks out of the bedroom with her cannon pointed at Bowser.*  
  
C.Falcon: Armored muffin! You're not raped!  
  
Fox: The harpoon! Now!  
  
Peach: Right, honey!  
  
*Peach launches the harpoon at Bowser's crotch...and misses by a mile. The harpoon flies out of the window of the throne room.*  
  
Fox: YOU CAN'T THROW WORTH SHYTE!  
  
Peach: Sorry, honey. I'm only good with turnips. Now what are we going to destroy Bowser's crotch with?  
  
Samus: Destroy his crotch?  
  
Bowser: Destroy my crotch?  
  
*Samus smiles evilly behind her visor. She launches a missile directly at Bowser's crotch. He pulls Troopa out from under him and blocks the missile. He then flings the burned Troopa at Samus, who flings in away with ease with the swing of her cannon. Bowser gets up and runs over pushes a button on his throne. The ceiling opens revealing several glowing goombas.*  
  
Bowser: I like to call these super goombas.  
  
Samus: What's so "super" about them?  
  
Bowser: You'll see...but first, Peach, I might not have you just yet, but I will have you in the future. Admit it, you enjoyed the last time we met!  
  
Peach: Actually...I've had better.  
  
Bowser: WHAT?!  
  
Peach: A man has handled me roughly a lot better then you ever could! Or, will handle me soon. *She turns, smiling at Fox*  
  
Fox: Huh? What?  
  
Bowser: You...you...you unappreciative byatch!  
  
Peach: Fox! Did you here what he called me?!  
  
Fox: Yeah, so?  
  
*Bowser taps the button again and the "super" goombas are released. They begin to bounce around the room at tremendous speeds causing heavy damage. One bounces off of Captain Falcons head, causing him to fall over. The others begin to flee the room before the super goombas smack into them. 


	18. Chapter 17: The Device

Chapter 17: The Device  
  
*The four walk towards Samus ship after fleeing Bowser's castle, which is still infested with "super" goombas. A super goomba bounces out of the window and into the sky at incredible speed. The four enter the ship to find everyone still asleep...well, everyone except Pikachu, who is still obsessed with the dictionary. Peach collapses onto the floor, changing back into the so called kind, and loving princess.*  
  
Peach: ...what happened?  
  
Fox: You were being an annoyance.  
  
Peach: If anyone were an annoyance it would be you!  
  
Pikachu: *Finally noticing the four* Oh, hi! I was looking in here and there seems to be a few words that were blocked from my vocabulary. I think that Jeff guy programmed these words to be blocked. One of them is spelled B...i-t-c-  
  
Peach: NO! *Grabbing the dictionary* they were blocked for a reason. You are never to say these words!  
  
Pikachu: Never?  
  
Peach: NEVER!  
  
Pikachu: ...okay.  
  
Samus: I almost got raped and everyone's STILL asleep?! WAKE THE HELL UP!!!  
  
*Everyone begins to wake up, a little cranky.*  
  
C.Falcon: Hey...where's Yoshi and Shyla?  
  
Pikachu: Last I saw of them...they went into the back room.  
  
Samus: I better see what those two dinosaurs are up to...  
  
*Samus opens the door to the back room of her ship...all is dark. She enters the room and makes out the voice of Yoshi and Shyla.  
  
Shyla: Harder, dammit, HARDER!  
  
Yoshi: If I do this any harder someone might get hurt mainly you !  
  
Shyla: What are you, some wussy man? HARD- Ouch!  
  
Yoshi: I told you someone might get hurt.  
  
Shyla: You did that on purpose!  
  
Yoshi: Heh...maybe I did.  
  
Samus: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!  
  
*The booming of Samus' voice startles both dinosaurs. Shyla's tail smacks into Yoshi, knocking him over.*  
  
Yoshi: Ow...um, Samus, I might need your help over here.  
  
Samus: NEVER!  
  
Yoshi: You're not going to help me get Shyla's head out of the refrigerator?  
  
Samus: ...for a second, I thought you two were doing something else.  
  
Yoshi: Huh...what did you THINK we were doing?  
  
Ness: She thought you two were getting freaky because it sounded like that from way in the front room.  
  
Samus: What is she doing with her head stuck in there anyway?  
  
Yoshi: Not too long ago, we found out that we have something in common. We love to eat! Of course, she can't turn whatever she digests into eggs like me for I am the mighty Yoshi and I rock!  
  
Ness: ...even though laying eggs is the FEMALE's job! *Snicker*.  
  
Yoshi: Shut up! I have no idea why she stuck her head in there. I guess she was THAT hungry.  
  
Shyla: LIER! You told me to look inside.  
  
Yoshi: But I didn't say, "Stick your head inside".  
  
Samus: Let's just pull her out.  
  
*Samus, Ness, and Yoshi tug on the tail of Shyla and she slips right out without a problem.*  
  
Ness: Wow...you must be weak, Yoshi. We pulled her out together without much hassle.  
  
Yoshi: I AM NOT WEAK!  
  
Samus: My...food.  
  
Yoshi: Huh?  
  
*Samus stood there, staring at an empty fridge.*  
  
Samus: She...ate...EVERYTHING! Now I'll have to restock!  
  
Yoshi: Hmph! I didn't get to eat anything.  
  
Shyla: ...I was hungry...  
  
*Samus stomps out of the room and to the cockpit. Yoshi and Shyla walk out of the backroom only to be surprised by the applauding they heard.*  
  
Yoshi: Huh...  
  
Shyla: They think that we...  
  
Yoshi: We didn't do anything!  
  
Gdorf: Sure you didn't...  
  
Ness: Guys, I was there, they didn't do anything...  
  
*Booing erupts throughout the ship.*  
  
Samus: SHUT UP! I am trying to start the ship!  
  
*The booing gets louder.*  
  
Samus: Didn't I say shut up!?  
  
Kirby: Calm down, Samus...we need to concentrate on finding the device right now.  
  
*Samus slams the "launch" button in the cockpit and the ship takes off into the air at incredible speed, sending many crashing down to the floor.  
  
Samus: ...we don't even know where the damn thing is...  
  
C.Falcon: Actually...I have it right here.  
  
Yoshi: WHAT?!  
  
C.Falcon: I won it in the last race I was in. They said it is suppose to bring people from another world back in forth at will. But it doesn't work, tried it.  
  
Yoshi: Knowing you, you probably broke it.  
  
*Falcon pulls out the device from his pocket. He fumbles and drops it on the ground.*  
  
Zelda: FALCON!  
  
C.Falcon: Oops!  
  
*Samus picks up the device and studies it carefully, trying to figure out how it works.*  
  
Samus: Falcon...I know why it wasn't working for you.  
  
C.Falcon: Why?  
  
Samus: Because you never gave it an energy source!  
  
C.Falcon: Energy source?  
  
Samus: BATTERIES!  
  
C.Falcon: Oh...I thought it came with batteries.  
  
Fox: Idiot...  
  
C.Falcon: I am not an idiot!  
  
Link: ...  
  
Yoshi: Sure you aren't, Falcon. Sure you aren't...  
  
C.Falcon: See! Yoshi knows I'm not an idiot.  
  
Yoshi: *Sweatdrop* I was using sarcasm, Falcon.  
  
C.Falcon: Sar- what?  
  
Pikachu: Falcon, come over here and I'll help you look it up in this dictionary.  
  
*Samus skips (SKIPS?!) over to a compartment near her cockpit, obviously, the sudden turn of events has put her into a good mood. She quickly changes the skipping into a fast paced walk before anyone could realize that she was skipping. She opens the compartment and pulls out several batteries and inserts them into the device. Se then walks over to the cockpit and changes the ships coordinates.*  
  
Samus: This device might need some space to function.  
  
Kirby: It's kinda hard to believe that THIS device will bring Miyamoto here.  
  
Yoshi: Yeah, it looks like a freakin' T.V. remote control.  
  
Gdorf: Enough talk! I want to get things straight with Miyamoto!  
  
Samus: Don't go blowing steam off at him. I'm sure it wasn't his decision for you to have Falcon's moveset.  
  
C.Falcon: You should be thanking the people at HAL for giving you such a good moveset. *Smiles*  
  
Gdorf: Well...he better get things straight with HAL. I cannot rule Hyrule with the moveset of Falcon.  
  
Zelda: You'd have to beat Link first, which you've yet to do!  
  
Gdorf: Quiet, before I take the both of you out.  
  
*Link rises to the challenge, unsheathing the Master Sword. The two stare at each other for a moment, and then charge at full speed. Samus' ship comes to an abrupt stop, sending the two tumbling onto the floor. The ship slowly lands on the top of a mountain located in a Jungle region. Everyone begins to pour out of the ship and cluster up as Samus punches in a few buttons on the device. Kirby snatches the device from Samus' hands out of pure anxiousness and pushes the green button labeled "GO".*  
  
Samus: Kirby, no!  
  
Kirby: I thought you set the device already!  
  
*The device began to glow and shot a beam towards the ground and a person began to materialize.*  
  
Samus: If you don't set coordinates on the device and tell it who to bring from the other world, it will pick a random person and bring them here!  
  
Kirby: Well we'll just send them back.  
  
*Peach and Zelda squeal in horror as the person has fully materialized. The person has revealed himself to be the infamous Richard Simmons. Zelda hops behind Link and Peach hops behind Mario, while holding on to Toad as a weapon.*  
  
Mario: Who is-a that?  
  
Zelda: It's evil in its purest form!  
  
Peach: Keep him away from me!  
  
*Simmons checks out the area, and notices the two females hiding from him.*  
  
Fox: Who the hell is this fawker and why does he have the wench and the tramp scared?  
  
Kirby: Ya know, I still have no idea what a wench is.  
  
Pikachu: Well, if you look it up in that dictionary I had-  
  
Kirby: I'm not going to look up anything in a dictionary you touched!  
  
Pikachu: ...I think I should be offended by that comment..?  
  
Simmons: You two ladies *pointing to Zelda and Peach* look like you could lose some weight! I have the perfect 24-hour exercise plan for you both!  
  
Zelda&Peach: EEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!  
  
*Richard approaches Zelda, who is still hiding behind Link. His attention is then taken away from Zelda and turned to Link. He begins to check Link out.*  
  
Simmons: Hey...you look good in that outfit, could you tell me where to get one?  
  
Link: ...?  
  
Zelda: Link! Kill it! It's evil!  
  
*Link begins to unsheathe the Master Sword once again. Richard, realizing that he is not wanted here, begins to make his way over to Yoshi.*  
  
Simmons: You look like you could lose some weight aswell...you wanna exercise with me and the two girls over there?  
  
Yoshi: (irritated) Get away from me!  
  
Simmons: Oh, c'mon! You'll look even sexier than you already do!  
  
*Yoshi whispers something to Shyla. Her eyes go blood red and she begins to foam at the mouth. She starts to roar in a rage and grabs Richard Simmons and starts to chew on his head. Simmons screams in pain. She then attempts to swallow him by raising her head causing Simmons' body to slide further into her mouth.*  
  
Peach: Chew him up!  
  
*Captain Falcon, actually feeling sorry for Richard, attempts to pull him out by his legs dangling from the mouth of Shyla. Shyla smacks Falcon away with her tail, and begins to swing her head about wildly with Simmons still in her mouth, whose body is shaking around like a rag doll.*  
  
Kirby: S-Samus! Do something! We can't just let him DIE!  
  
Samus: No one else seems to have a problem with him becoming food for Shyla.  
  
Kirby: Samus!  
  
Samus: Hmm... If she eats him, I won't have to worry about her eating the fridge clean again anytime soon.   
  
Kirby: SAMUS!  
  
Samus: Okay, since you insist.  
  
Fox: No, dammit! This is entertaining!  
  
*Captain Falcon tries to save Richard again, but the vicious dinosaur is swinging the body too wildly for him to grasp onto it. Samus grabs the device from Kirby and pushes the "Return" button while aiming it at the swinging body of Richard Simmons. A beam of light is launched into the mouth of Shyla and Richard Simmons begins to dematerialize and return back to the world from which he came (It's hard to believe that we live on the same planet as the evil being known as Richard Simmons). Shyla's mouth slams shut as the body is now gone. She licks the blood of Simmons off of her lips and teeth with a satisfied look as she comes back to her senses.*  
  
Zelda: The terror is over... *Sigh*  
  
Kirby: Yoshi! What did you tell her that made her go that crazy!  
  
Yoshi: I told Shyla that he was trying to pose as competition for her to win my love. I rock so hard that she wants me to herself with absolutely NO competition.  
  
Zelda: Eliminating the competition...  
  
Shyla: If that man had laid a finger on my Yoshi...  
  
Kirby: You've probably already killed the man! What else would you do to him?!  
  
*A transparent screen appears infront of the device while Samus punches in coordinates. The screen went from blank to the picture of a conference room. Several men were discussing something on a black (and nicely shiny) table inside. Several pictures of old Legend of Zelda games are scattered on the table. The men were discussing the issue of whether or not to remake older Legend of Zelda games and putting them on one disk for the Gamecube. Samus hits the "Go" button on the device and a strange light surrounds one of the men in the room. He dematerializes from the chair. Several of the men look around the room trying to figure out where he went. The man materializes on the mountain, a few feet away from the crowd of Nintendo mascots.  
  
Kirby: *Gasp* Shigeru Miyamoto! 


	19. Chapter 18: Miyamoto Arrives

Chapter 18: Miyamoto Arrives  
  
Kirby: He's here! What do we say?!  
  
Samus: Calm down fir-  
  
Kirby: What if he refuses our request?! What if he doesn't like us and decides to delete us from the Nintendo Universe?!?! What if-  
  
Samus: CALM DOWN!  
  
Zelda: ...what do we say?  
  
Shigeru: ...?  
  
C.Falcon: Kirby, ask him!  
  
Kirby: Well...uh...  
  
Yoshi: For a leader, you aren't showing much courage.  
  
Gdorf: Ask him! I can't live with the thought of having that...that...buffoons' moveset!  
  
C.Falcon: Hey!  
  
Kirby: Er...Mr. Miyamoto-if I can call you that...you see...this may be hard to believe but...the Nintendo Universe...is real and we, the Nintendo mascots, are real aswell.  
  
Shigeru: Actually, that's not hard to believe at all.  
  
Kirby: Huh?!  
  
Shigeru: I knew what I was doing when this place was created. I knew it existed along with all of you. I also knew it would be a matter of time before I was pulled in here.  
  
Kirby: Whoa...you know alot.   
  
Yoshi: Well, duh. How else would we get letters from Nintendo telling us to come to a tournament?  
  
Kirby: Well, you were brought here for a reason. We all wanted to ask you-Ah!  
  
*Before Kirby can finish asking the question, Mario pushes Kirby out of the way.*  
  
Mario: We wanted to ask-a you if you could-a change some of the rules for the Super Smash Brothers Melee Tournament-a!  
  
Kirby: Hey!  
  
Shigeru: Of course! I was dragged all the way here, something must be wrong with the rules. Now if you could tell me what's wrong…  
  
*The mascots begin to crowd around Miyamoto and tell him about Lakitu and how the rules have been changed. Kirby pulls Mario from the crowd.*  
  
Kirby: What did you do that for?!  
  
Mario: Did-a you actually think-a that-a Miyamoto would-a accept-a the request-a if you asked-a?  
  
Kirby: What's wrong with me asking?!  
  
Mario: I am the star of the Nintendo Universe, you are not-a.  
  
Shigeru: Actually, Mario, I would have accepted if any of you had asked.  
  
Mario: ... *Sweatdrop*  
  
Shigeru: Now, excuse me while I inform HAL about the changing of the rules. I don't believe they know what has happened.  
  
*Miyamoto pulls out a cell phone; a very expensive looking cell phone to be exact. He dials the number to the head office of HAL. After speaking a few words with the recipient of the phone call, he puts the cell phone away with a smile on his face.*  
  
Popo: So...what's the news?  
  
Shigeru: Lakitu has been stripped of powers over the Tournament. All changed rules are being turned back to their default settings.  
  
*The mascots cheer as all of their hard work has paid off.*  
  
Kirby: I can get my wall jump back.  
  
Samus: But will Lakitu want to give it back?  
  
Kirby: What do you mean? He's just gotta give it back!  
  
Samus: He might try to keep your wall jump as a form of revenge.  
  
Shigeru: We'll see about that. Take me to Lakitu; I have a few things to discuss with him.  
  
*Everyone enters Samus ship once again with one new person: Miyamoto. The mascots begin to crowd around Shigeru and ask him many questions. The ship returns to the familiar house in the sky. Lakitu exits his house with a po'd face. The mascots begin to exit the ship but Fox stops Miyamoto to discuss something with him.*  
  
Lakitu: Bastards...  
  
Samus: I see you already know.  
  
Kirby: All we are here for is to get my wall jump back.  
  
Lakitu: Never, bastards!  
  
Zelda: Why not?  
  
Lakitu: You bastards ruined me...I loved having power over the tournament. I actually would get respect that way. But YOU bastards took that way from me...so you will never get this back.  
  
*Lakitu pulls out a bottle with Kirby's memory of wall jumping in it. He smiles evilly.*  
  
Samus: If you haven't noticed, YOU didn't get much respect even when you had power. And what little power you did have went to your head.  
  
Kirby: So give me the wall jump back!  
  
Lakitu: Hah! What are you gonna do about it?  
  
Shigeru: *walking out of the ship* Lakitu, give it back.  
  
Lakitu: (shocked) ...  
  
Shigeru: Give it back before I have to something against my wishes…like deleting you.  
  
Lakitu: *frightened* He-he-he-here!  
  
*Lakitu throws the bottle at Kirby and retreats to his house. Kirby opens the bottle and his memories of wall jumping slowly begin to return.*  
  
Shigeru: Now, Kirby, may I have a word with you?  
  
Kirby: (happily) Sure!  
  
*Kirby walks into the ship with Miyamoto.*  
  
Shigeru: Kirby...I'm glad you know how to wall jump and all but you really aren't suppose to do it. Atleast, not at the tournament should you wall jump.  
  
Kirby: Aw...man.  
  
Shigeru: Of course...if you happen to do it by accident maybe it can slide...  
  
Kirby: Really?!  
  
Shigeru: Yes...but by accident. *Wink*  
  
Kirby: Okay...by accident. *Wink*  
  
Shigeru: Now...this next issue addresses you and Fox.  
  
Kirby: Fox?  
*A grunting sound catches Kirby's attention. Fox was leaning against the wall in the corner the whole time.*  
  
Shigeru: Fox told me that you have blackmailed him twice...  
  
Kirby: Yeah, but he tried to kill me!  
  
Shigeru: Yes...and he failed. I have made sure that he won't try to kill you again.  
  
Fox: I would have never tried to kill him if he had never blackmailed me.  
  
Shigeru: To keep the peace...hopefully...you have to...  
  
Kirby: To what?  
  
Fox: You've gotta be my slave for the rest of the day, punk!  
  
Kirby: AHH!  
  
Fox: You're lucky it's just for a day...I was thinking for a week but he wouldn't allow it.  
  
Kirby: But!  
  
Shigeru: Kirby...don't worry. You'll be getting something out of this too.  
  
Kirby: Like...a new game.  
  
Shigeru: I'll suggest that to HAL.  
  
Kirby: Yes!  
  
*Kirby, Fox, and Miyamoto exit the ship.*  
  
Shigeru: *clearing his throat to get attention* Unfortunately I have been gone from an important meeting for a little too long. I'd like to explore this world a little more with you all but I have to leave now.  
  
Gdorf: Wait! Before you leave could you make sure that I am ridden of Captain Falcon's moveset!  
  
Shigeru: Unfortunately HAL are a little too far into development to try and make a completely new moveset for you. I can always put in word for the next Super Smash Brothers...if there ever is another one.  
  
Gdorf: Damn!  
  
C.Falcon: My moveset is great! I don't know why you would want to get rid of it!  
  
Gdorf: Right now, I am looking forward to kicking your idiotic arse with your own moveset! There really isn't any reason for me to be here right now. I'm in the mood to torture some Hylians. *Evil grin*  
  
*Gannondorf takes flight. He launches a sphere of darkness at Link before returning to Hyrule. The unanticipated attack blows Link away. Link gets up and dusts himself off as if nothing had ever happened. Samus pushes "Return" button and Miyamoto slowly begins to dematerialize.*  
  
Kirby: Come back sometime!  
  
Shigeru: That's up to you all. That device is powerful. Make sure it doesn't fall into the wrong hands-  
  
*Miyamoto had disappeared completely.*  
  
Yoshi: ...*gasp* Zelda! Why didn't you ask Miyamoto if you could get some real breasts?!  
  
*Slap*  
  
Yoshi: Ow...  
  
Zelda: *smiling* I haven't slapped you for a few chapters.  
  
Samus: Now that the mission was successful...YOU CAN ALL GO HOME! It was nice being with you all but you have got to go! Falcon and I have plans for later tonight. You DID remember to make the reservations at the restaurant, didn't you?  
  
C.Falcon: ...whoops...  
  
Samus: You didn't make the reservations?!  
  
C.Falcon: I did make the reservations...I just don't remember the name of the restaurant we are supposed to be going to. *Shrugs innocently*  
  
Samus: You are lucky that I remember the name.  
  
Shyla: Yoshi...take me out to dinner.  
  
Yoshi: We just met today, woman! And I don't have any money right now…  
  
Mario: Yoshi...why don't-a you come back-a to Peach's castle to live with us again-a? There is much work-a *ahem* I mean-a, there is an empty room-a where you could-a stay.  
  
Yoshi: And be tortured again?! HELL NO!  
  
Mario: Oh well-a... Dammit-a!   
  
Zelda: It will be getting dark soon...and I'm afraid Gannondorf might actually try to torture some Hylians. I think we should go.  
  
*Everyone boards Samus' ship quickly as they are all anxious to return to their own homelands. The ship takes off and disappears over the horizon.* 


	20. Interview 01: Kirby's Up!

Okay, before we start, I must inform you all that I wrote this a bit ago. As you can tell by the Discussion of the Day, which is Jason X. But that was back when it was about to show in theaters...didn't feel like I wrote this that long ago...  
  
Who's B64K? A user from a messageboard I post this at. He was also doing an itnerview thingy for a different place, so I decided to "borrow" his set. =D  
  
  
  
Interview 01: Kirby's Up!  
  
http://www.tri-ace.co.jp/product/sobs/char/page11.html -Claude  
http://www.tri-ace.co.jp/product/sobs/char/page01.html -Precis  
  
*Claude is seen sitting in a chair at a desk. The set resembles that of Bowser64Koopa's. Infact, it IS the same set; only there are a few minor differences. For one, there isn't an audience. There are also two chairs behind the desk instead of one.*  
  
Claude: Hey. Claude Kenni, also known as ClaudeLv250, here. I've decided to do a different spin on the questions and answers for Kirby's Insane Journeys. I will be hosting these events as YOU, the fans, send me questions for each of the characters. To start our show off with a bang, we'll have the main character of the fanfic, Kirby; join us for the first interview. Unfortunately, we can't start without the hostess, who is LATE.  
  
*Claude taps a pencil on the desk impatiently until one of the double doors behind the rows of unoccupied seats for an audience flies open. A girl runs down the walkway and slings her backpack onto the desk. She plops down into the chair next to Claude labeled "Hostess".*  
  
Claude: It's about time, Precis.  
  
Precis: Sorry but I got lost!  
  
Claude: Well, remember where this place is.  
  
Precis: YOU were the one who gave me directions. And those were wrong.  
  
Claude: Whoops.  
  
Precis: I bet you did that on purpose...you're still mad that I'm the hostess, aren't you?  
  
Claude: (dully) Whatever do you mean...  
  
Precis: I won that bet so now I can be the hostess.  
  
Claude: Actually, I'm glad you're the hostess. Some of the characters from the fic can be a little hard to handle by yourself.  
  
Precis: They just need a woman's touch!  
  
Claude: Hm...ah...I need to introduce you.  
  
Precis: Everything's ready? Already?!  
  
Claude: Hey, you did come late.  
  
Precis: Oh well, on with the introduction!  
  
Claude: Now, everyone, this is Precis Neumann. She was one of my companions in Star Ocean 2. She will help host these events, as you have heard. *Whispering* Between you and me, she is a little on the hyper side. She must eat a bag of sugar everyday.  
  
Precis: I heard that!  
  
Claude: *ahem* Let's get to the interview. Kirby, will you come out?  
  
*Kirby walks out from backstage and starts waving*  
  
Kirby: HI!  
  
Claude: ...Who are you waving to?  
  
Kirby: The fans!  
  
Claude: No one else is here.  
  
Kirby: Well I'd just like to notify the fans that I realize that they exist.  
  
Precis: Aw...that's so thoughtful!  
  
Kirby: Huh? Sorry, miss, but I do not know who you are.  
  
Precis: Me? I'm Precis!  
  
Kirby: Hello, Ms. Precis.  
  
Precis: No Ms., just Precis!  
  
*Kirby takes his seat on the guest sofa.*  
  
Kirby: How come there isn't an audience?  
  
Claude: Ah...I didn't feel like inviting a bunch of people.  
  
Precis: I would have liked an audience!  
  
Kirby: Actually, I'm glad there isn't an audience. I work better without one. Why did you choose me to be the first one to be interviewed?  
  
Claude: Well you are the main character. It's only natural to have you on first.  
  
Kirby: Ah...so why-  
  
Precis: HEY! I thought WE were going to ask the questions!  
  
Kirby: Oops, sorry.  
  
Precis: Infact, I feel like asking you some questions of my own.  
  
Kirby: Go ahead.  
  
Precis: This has been bothering me since your first game came out. WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU MADE OUT OF?!  
  
Claude: I'd like to know that myself.  
  
Kirby: Well...I am made out of a substance neither of you would understand. To put it simple, it's soft but it's tough.  
  
Precis: What do you mean "neither of you would understand"?  
  
Claude: Yeah, you make us sound...stupid.  
  
Kirby: It's not that you two are stupid...it's just...  
  
Claude: Just?  
  
Kirby: It's just that I don't feel like explaining it! I'm lazy today, so sue me!  
  
Precis: Another thing that's bothered me is...how come you don't have legs?  
  
Kirby: No one in Dreamland has legs. I'd look funny being the only one with legs.  
  
Claude: ACK!  
  
Precis: What?  
  
Claude: I never took the time to actually give a damn about the inhabitants of Dreamland long enough to realize that none of them have legs.  
  
Kirby: I feel somewhat offended by that comment. *Frown*  
  
Precis: I'm sure Claude didn't want to offend anyone with his comment. Did you?  
  
Claude: What?  
  
Precis: DID YOU!?  
  
Claude: No.  
  
Kirby: Err...*disgusted* WHAT do you have in that backpack?!  
  
Precis: Not much, just my usual things like fighting equipment and building materials. Why?  
  
Kirby: Something is moving inside of it.  
  
Claude: (sarcastically) Oh no! Precis! A lizard got inside of your backpack!  
  
Precis: Lizard? WHERE?! REPTILES ARE THE SCUM OF THE EARTH!  
  
Kirby: Am I glad that I am not a reptile.  
  
Precis: WHERE IS IT!?  
  
Claude: I was only joking...there isn't a lizard, although I have no idea what Kirby is talking about. I didn't see the backpack move.  
  
Kirby: But it did move!  
  
Precis: *Playfully attacking Claude* You know I don't like reptiles.  
  
Kirby: Just curious...but why don't you like reptiles? I believe that all creatures should be treated fairly.  
  
Precis: Reptiles are all slimy and scaly and...UGH!  
  
Claude: I, personally, do not have a problem with reptiles.  
  
Kirby: Well, Precis, if you gave them a chance you'd probably-  
  
Precis: I WILL NOT GIVE THE SCUM OF THE EARTH A CHANCE!  
  
Kirby: Everyone deserves to be treated equally.  
  
Precis: What's up with you? You seem determined to get me to like reptiles.  
  
Kirby: Well...you are treating them unfairly and-  
  
Claude: That's the way "Saint Kirby" is.  
  
Kirby: Don't call me that.  
  
Precis: The way you are acting...you would deserve the name "Saint Kirby". And reptiles are still the scum of the earth.  
  
Kirby: You are such a stubborn girl.  
  
Claude: Isn't she?  
  
*Precis sticks her tongue out.*  
  
Claude: Well...we might aswell move on to the actual questions from the fans...and there doesn't seem to be many questions right now.  
  
Precis: What?! Don't they realize this is the premiere of our interviews?!  
  
Claude: Ah...screw the fans.  
  
Precis: Claude!  
  
Claude: Just joking...  
  
*Claude digs into his jacket pocket to pull out the questions from the fans.*  
  
Claude: Here they are.  
  
Precis: You weren't kidding when you said there weren't many questions.  
  
Claude: Well, might aswell get this over with-  
  
Kirby: AAH!  
  
Claude&Precis: WHAT!?  
  
Kirby: I told you that there was something in that backpack!  
  
Claude&Precis: Huh?  
  
*Claude and Precis look at each other for a moment, and then at the desk where the backpack lies. Sure enough, something was inside of it and was moving in a violent motion, trying to get out. Both Claude and Precis slide there chairs away from the desk in unison.*  
  
Precis: Something must have gotten in when I wasn't looking.  
  
Claude: Next time check your backpack!  
  
*The backpack opens revealing a small, round, blue object rolling out. Arms and legs pop out of sockets and it stands up.*  
  
Claude: Bobot?  
  
Precis: Bad Bobot! I told him that he couldn't come so he hid in my backpack.  
  
Kirby: Would any of you mind telling me what a bobot is?  
  
Precis: Bobot is an invention of mine! He can transform into many things. He's mainly just a friend to take along when I'm bored or lonely. He is quite intelligent too!  
  
*Bobot walks off of the side of the desk and smacks into the floor.*  
  
Precis: Okay...his artificial intelligence still needs some work.  
  
Kirby: I like it!  
  
Precis: Thank you, "Saint Kirby"!  
  
Kirby: Don't call me that!  
  
Claude: Well...time to read the fans' questions before something else happens. *looks around for anything suspicious, and picks up cards with questions on them*  
  
Claude: Our first question is from OnslaughtRM.  
  
Precis: Hi Onslaught!  
  
Claude: Anyways, his question is "Kirby : I know you're not a violent individual, but if you could kill one person of your little group (besides Pikachu), who would it be?"   
  
Kirby: Ah...er...  
  
Precis: Take your time.  
  
Kirby: Well...it's a tie between Yoshi and Falcon.  
  
Claude: What? No Fox?!  
  
Kirby: Yoshi and Falcon are constant annoyances while Fox...well, as long as he doesn't try to kill me again...  
  
Precis: Why would you want to kill Yoshi or Captain Falcon?! How are they constant annoyances?  
  
Claude: Precis, if you paid more attention to the fic...you'd know that Yoshi is a big bully and Captain Falcon isn't the brightest person in the group...he also has a talent of pissing Kirby off without even trying.  
  
Precis: I have a feeling that I will regret being hostess when we have interviews later on.  
  
Claude: Our next questions is from Willx3  
  
Precis: Hi Willx3!  
  
Claude: ...*giving card weird look*  
  
Precis: What?  
  
Claude: The question reads "Kirby, have you ever thought about rogain?"  
  
Precis: What the-  
  
Kirby: Huh? Will...do I LOOK like I had hair or am losing any?  
  
Precis: Kirby?   
  
Claude: With hair?  
  
*Claude and Precis burst into laughter.*  
  
Kirby: Me having hair is not that funny!  
  
Claude: Maybe Kirby would have a Mohawk!  
  
Precis: Or an Afro!  
  
Claude: A Jerry Curl!  
  
Precis: Pigtails!  
  
*Claude and Precis continue laughing.*  
  
Kirby: (angrily) can we move on to the next question!?  
  
Claude: *ahem* Our third, and unfortunately, final question is from...anonymous?  
  
Precis: Are we allowed to answer questions from anonymous people? That kinda gets me suspicious...  
  
Claude: Well let's see what they are asking first...ack!  
  
Precis: What? Is it something nasty?  
  
Claude: The so-called-question reads...*takes deep breath* "DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE" *gasp for air* "DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE DIE CLAUDE"  
  
Kirby: Fan of yours?  
  
Claude: Meh...I know who did this.. *Sets card on fire and throws it in the trash bin next to the desk*  
  
Kirby: Hey...that's a fire hazard!  
  
Claude: Whatevah.  
  
Precis: So those were the only questions?  
  
Claude: Yup...sad, isn't it?  
  
Precis: You so-called-fans of Claude's fanfic better send questions for the next interview or WE WILL HUNT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU DOWN AND FORCE QUESTIONS OUT OF YOU!!!  
  
Kirby: I don't think threatening the fans is a good way to get questions sent.  
  
Precis: Hush, you.  
  
Kirby: SO...um...what next? I've already answered the questions so is that it?  
  
Claude: Not so fast. It's time for the discussion the day.  
  
Kirby&Precis: Discussion of the wha?  
  
Claude: Discussion of the day. We will address a subject and talk about it.  
  
Precis: You didn't tell me about this!  
  
Claude: Do you have a problem with this?  
  
Precis: No, not really.   
  
Claude: Okay...let's start! The subject of today is "Movies".  
  
Precis: Movies!? That reminds me take me to see Jason X!  
  
Claude: Ah...I don't really want to see that movie. I know some people who have seen it and they said that it wasn't that great.  
  
Precis: I don't really care if it's good or not, I just want to go to the movies since I haven't been there in awhile!  
  
Kirby: Ugh...I don't like Horror films. All they do is introduce you to a cast of characters whom you get attached to only to watch them meet their gory demise.  
  
Claude: Well...you should learn not to get attached to the characters in horror fi-  
  
Kirby: That's not all! The whole of horror movies are centered on people getting their heads chopped off with giant axes and stabbed to death with very long knives! And then they have constant sequels to the stupid movies!  
  
Claude: Speaking of sequels...shouldn't Jason be dead already? Does he get killed in almost all of the Friday the 13th movies? Wasn't the last one supposed to be Jason Goes to Hell?  
  
Precis: I dunno!  
  
Kirby: WHY DID THEY MAKE ANOTHER ONE?!  
  
Precis: To rake in money, silly!  
  
Claude: I heard that Jason X is supposed to take place in 2500 or something like that. That means that Jason should have been dead over 500 years ago! And then he gets some metal upgrade and...meh.  
  
Precis: Maybe if you take me to see the movie those questions could be answered.  
  
Claude: I'd rather go see Spiderman. I'm looking forward to that.  
  
Precis: Oh, I forgot about that! I want to see that too!  
  
Kirby: That's better than some horror movie. Now I'm sorry but I've got to go.  
  
Precis: Wait! We still want to get to know you a little better!  
  
Kirby: Sorry, I'm a busy person!  
  
Claude: Bastard!  
  
Kirby: Hey! I am not a bastard! Dreamland could be in trouble!  
  
*Kirby exits quickly.*  
  
Precis: Aw...I wanted to talk with him more.  
  
Claude: Maybe we can get him to come back to a later interview. I'm sure after a few more events happen in the fanfic the fans will want to ask questions.  
  
Precis: Aw...I guess. So who will be in interview 02?  
  
Claude: Mario and Peach.  
  
Precis: Oh! The Nintendo legend himself.  
  
Claude: Mario isn't exactly one of the more focused on characters in the fic and Peach...  
  
Precis: What about Peach? Don't tell me there is something wrong with her. I know you said your fic was pretty screwed but you know I haven't read that much of it!  
  
Claude: Well you will be surprised by the character's personalities. *Evil grin* Expect the unexpected.  
  
Precis: While I expect the unexpected...you better get more questions!  
  
Claude: Okay, Okay...I'm already thinking of ways to get a load of questions.  
  
Precis: You better get an audience too!  
  
Claude: I can't guarantee an audience. Infact, I don't really want one. Have you seen B64K's audience? His audience SUCKS!  
  
Precis: Aw...come on!  
  
Claude: Hm...  
  
Precis: Atleast a fake audience!  
  
Claude: Meh...well that ends out first interview!  
  
Precis: See ya next interview! Bye!  
  
*The lights in the studio begin to flash and blowout sending the studio into a pitch black state.*  
  
Precis: Claude...what happened? I can't see!  
  
Claude: The lights blew out...I'm not paying B64K for the lights!  
  
*Claude tries to get up and stumbles over his chair landing on the floor with a thud.*  
  
Precis: *Giggle* Are you okay?  
  
Claude: Ow...  
  
*Precis gets up and makes sure that she doesn't trip over her own chair in the darkness but ends up tripping over Bobot and lands right next to Claude.*  
  
Precis: (angrily) Bobot!  
  
?????: Who's that in here?! No one is supposed to be here!  
  
Claude: Ah! He's here!  
  
Precis: Who? Bowser64Koopa? Here, now?! What do we do?!  
  
Claude: Run!  
  
*Precis scoops Bobot into her backpack and slings it over her back. The two exit stage right.*  
  
-=And that wraps up Interview 01!=-  
  
I haven't finished Interview 02 yet...so put your questions in your reviews or email them to me NOW!!! WHILE YOU STILL CAN! The next guests are Mario, Peach (& Toad), and Luigi.  
  
Oh, if you decide to email me your questions, don't forget to provide your user name. FF.net isn't the only place where I put this up...I wouldn't want some wacky sicko sending spam to people's email addresses.  
  
BTW, the last chapter should be popping up soon. 


	21. Chapter 19: An Insane Conclusion for an ...

Chapter 19: An Insane Conclusion for an Insane Journey  
  
*Samus ship is parked near the shack Popo and Nana call home. Most of the other mascots have already been dropped off. Only Kirby, Fox, Samus, Zelda, Link, Yoshi, Captain Falcon, Peach, Mario, Toad and Shyla remain. Popo waves goodbye as he and Nana enter their home. Kirby waves back enthusiastically. He is in a much better mood now that Pikachu isn't in his presence for the time being. The ship takes off in the direction of the Mushroom Kingdom. The ship lands and Peach, Mario, and Toad exit.*  
  
Peach: *Sigh*  
  
Mario: What's wrong-a Peach?  
  
Peach: I really wanted to take Pikachu home… *sigh*  
  
Mario: Maybe you can-a see him-a tomorrow.  
  
Peach: WHAT THE HELL!?  
  
Mario: What-a?!  
  
*Peach remembers the damage done to the roof of the castle earlier. Half of the roof was still floating in the moat.*  
  
Peach: Toad…start fixing the roof.  
  
Toad: No.  
  
Peach: WHAT?!  
  
Mario: Toad-a, fix-a the roof-a!  
  
Toad: Make me.  
  
Mario: Now is not-a the time to get-a bold-a! Luigi tried-a that-a and-a we don't-a even-a know where he is now!  
  
Toad: This-a and that-a! Why don't you just shut the hell up-a!  
  
Mario: I do not-a appreciate-a being mocked-a!!!  
  
Peach: Toad, how dare you rebel!  
  
*Peach raises her whip and Toad flinches in anticipation of the oncoming attack but begins to back away as he realize that Peach is having another headache.*  
  
Peach: Ugh…  
  
Mario: Peach-a! What's-a wrong-a?!  
  
Peach: Another headache………what am I doing down here?!  
  
*Samus' ship begins to rise into the air and take off.*  
  
Peach: Fox? FOX! Fox is on there! FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!!!!!  
  
Mario: Why are you looking-a for that-a furry bastard-a? He is trash and should-a be avoided-a.  
  
Peach: Don't you ever talk about Fox like that!  
  
*Peach grabs Mario and tosses him into the moat with all of her might causing most of the water to empty out in the process. She turns around and runs in the direction of Samus ship but cannot catch it. She slouches down on the ground in sorrow, as she wouldn't see her Fox again for the rest of the day. She then vowed to herself that she'd see Fox before the day was over and ran in the direction of Samus ship again. Inside the ship, however, was a different story…*  
  
Kirby: *looking out a window* Um…Samus, I think Peach was chasing the ship.  
  
Samus: There is no time to make side-stops. Falcon and I have to get to the restaurant on time.  
  
Fox: Crazy tramp was probably after me again.  
  
Samus: Why are you here anyway? Don't you have an Arwing you could fly back to Corneria?  
  
Fox: Maybe I could fly it to Corneria if it wasn't already IN Corneria.  
  
Samus: Next time, plan ahead. And speaking of Corneria, Shyla, are you going back there or are you going to Yoshi's Island with Yoshi?  
  
Yoshi: She's going back to Corneria.  
  
Shyla: No, I'm going with you.  
  
Yoshi: CORNERIA!  
  
Shyla: YOU!  
  
Yoshi: Corneria!  
  
*Shyla grabs Yoshi by the neck and brings his face inches from her own.*  
  
Shyla: I'm going with you and that's final.  
  
Yoshi: Ugh…neck…hurts…can't breathe!  
  
*Shyla drops Yoshi, who begins to take deep breaths for air. She then grabs him up again but in a hugging motion as she realizes what she has done.*  
  
Shyla: I'm sorry! I can't control my temper!  
  
Yoshi: This could be a problem. Umm…  
  
Zelda: Yoshi, I thought you liked it rough! *Laugh*  
  
Yoshi: I shall have my revenge…Zelda…  
  
*Zelda continued to laugh until she saw the evil look Yoshi was giving her. He was serious about revenge.*  
  
Samus: OUT!  
  
Yoshi: Wha?  
  
Samus: Out, now! We're at Yoshi Island so get out!  
  
Yoshi: Damn this ship is fast!  
  
Samus: Shoo! Be gone!  
  
*Samus starts to push Yoshi and Shyla out of the ship.*  
  
Yoshi: Hey! Wait! My home is on the other side of the island!  
  
Samus: Then you better start walking! You need the exercise.  
  
Yoshi: That's not funny!  
  
Zelda: Yes, Samus. Don't say that. You are starting to sound like that Richard Simmons beast.  
  
*Link shakes his head in disgust.*  
  
*Yoshi gives Zelda an evil glare once again.*  
  
Yoshi: I will have my revenge…you better not take this lightly.  
  
Zelda: Why not? Any and everything that comes from you should be taken lightly. *Laugh*  
  
Yoshi: *growl*  
  
Samus: Well, Yoshi, as my new saying goes…"You flirt, you hurt"…copyright Samus Aran. Now OUT!!!  
  
*Seconds later, the two dinosaurs were hurled out of the craft and into the depths of the island. Samus spent no time in taking off. The ship was gone before Yoshi or Shyla could hit the ground.*  
  
Yoshi: Looks like I'm stuck with you…  
  
Shyla: Yes!  
  
Yoshi: *sigh*  
  
  
Samus: Kirby, ready to go back to Dreamland? Even if you aren't ready you are going there anyway!  
  
Kirby: Ah…um…change of plans. I'm going to Corneria with Fox.  
  
Samus&Zelda: WHAT? WHY?!  
  
*Link raises a brow.*  
  
Kirby: Um…business.  
  
Samus: Well that's one less stop on my list. Hyrule is close by. Link, Zelda, prepare to leave.  
  
*The ship zoomed over the Marketplace and landed in Hyrule Castle's courtyard. The courtyard was damp and muddy from rain. Link took Zelda's hand and escorted her off of the ship. Link lost his balance slipped on the wet grass, pulling Zelda down with him accidentally into puddle of mud, making a large and loud splash, covering them both with mud. The ship took off and disappeared in a flash. Zelda gave Link an annoyed look after removing mud-covered hair from her face.*  
  
Zelda: Way to go, hero. What do you have to say for yourself?  
  
Link: …  
  
Zelda: WELL?!  
  
Link: …  
  
Zelda: Hmph!  
  
Link: Well excuse me princess but if you hadn't pulled me in the opposite direction we wouldn't have fallen!  
  
Zelda: … (speechless)  
  
*A cloud of dust appeared in the distance. Something seemed to be causing it. Whatever it was, headed towards Link and Zelda at speeds that would put Sonic to shame. The object stopped inches before Link and Zelda. The wind that followed the object caught up with it, colliding into Link and Zelda, almost drying them instantly until the dust cloud caught up, dirtying them again. The object was a frantic Peach.*  
  
Peach: Which way did Samus' ship go?!  
  
Zelda: …  
  
Peach: WELL?!  
  
Zelda: …  
  
Link: They went that way. *Pointing to the direction the ship left*  
  
Peach: Okay! FOX, I WILL FIND YOU!!!!!  
  
*Peach was ready to take off when she realized that something was not right here. She brushed it off and speeded into the direction Link pointed in just as fast as she had come.*  
  
Link: …  
  
Zelda: *gasping for air* LINK! SPEAK AGAIN!  
  
Link: …?  
  
Zelda: I heard you! Speak again!  
  
Link: …?  
  
Zelda: Ugh!  
  
  
Computer: Now entering Corneria. Permission to dock on the Great Fox: granted.  
  
*Samus lands the ship inside of the Great Fox. The hatch opens and Kirby, followed by Fox, climb out. Samus slides her body halfway through the hatch.*  
  
Samus: Well…it seems we must part ways again.  
  
Kirby: Yeah…  
  
Samus: Who knows when something else will bring us all back together again?  
  
Kirby: I have a feeling that it won't be too long before something else will bring us together.  
  
Samus: I guess I'll cross paths with you again sometime soon-  
  
Fox: Hurry it up wench!  
  
Samus: Later, Kirby. And don't forget to get your rabies shot, Fox. We wouldn't want you getting thrown into a pound or getting put to sleep. *Laugh*  
  
Fox: *Growl*  
  
*Captain Falcon squeezes his head through the hatch.*  
  
C.Falcon: Bye! *Waves* Sorry I got you so mad at me, Kirby!  
  
*Samus pushes Falcon's head back into the ship and closes the hatch. The ship zooms out of the Great Fox. Peppy Hare comes rushing to Fox.*  
  
Peppy: Fox! Some rhino was here earlier. He said that he was going to sue you for damages done to his pub.  
  
Fox: Whatever.  
  
Slippy: FOX! I told Falco not to do it but he did it anyway!  
  
Fox: What did he do, dammit?!  
  
Slippy: He painted your Arwing pink! Then he painted little daffodils with the pink!  
  
Peppy: Ah! *pointing at Kirby*…that thing…is back?  
  
Kirby: I am not a thing!  
  
Fox: Well I have your first job in mind. SCRUB THE ARWING CLEAN!  
  
Kirby: *Rolling eyes* I'll wash it…but I don't do windows!  
  
*Slippy leads Fox to his newly painted Arwing. The paint job was crappy, as if whoever had painted the Arwing had done it in a hurry.*  
  
Slippy: See! Isn't it terrible!?  
  
Fox: God-fawking-damn! I'm going to get that bastard back! The Arwing looks like it belongs to a damn hippie!  
  
Kirby: Heh.  
  
Fox: You shouldn't be laughing. You have to wash it off! *Walks away*  
  
Kirby: …*Grumble*  
  
Slippy: Wait! Fox, where are you going?!  
  
Fox: To find that bastard1 He will not get away with this!  
  
*Fox begins his search of the Great Fox for Falco. Kirby fetches a pail of water (How I loathe that phrase) and sponge. After finding a ladder so he could reach the Arwing, he began to clean it and grumble in the process. A phone nearby began to ring. No one came to answer it. Kirby ignored the silence-clashing ring until it had become a jackhammer in his head. He dropped the sponge in frustration and decided to answer the call so the damned ringing could stop. He jumped off of the ladder, landing with an annoyed "Thud!" and stomped over to the phone, picking it up and answering the call.*  
  
Kirby: What?! Who is it?!  
  
????: Kirby…?  
  
Kirby: Mr. Miyamoto?!  
  
Miyamoto: Kirby, there's something I want you to get for me…  
  
Kirby: O..kay…?  
  
Miyamoto: That's why I told Fox that you would have to do anything he told you to do.  
  
Kirby: So I don't?  
  
Miyamoto: No, you don't. You can leave as soon as you get what I want you to get…if you can distract Fox somehow.  
  
Kirby: Well I have a question…why me?  
  
Miyamoto: Why you? Because you are the most cooperative put of the other mascots. If I had sent someone…say…like Samus, there would be a war on the Great Fox right about now.  
  
Kirby: Heh…so what did you want me to get?  
  
Miyamoto: Plans.  
  
Kirby: Plans?  
  
Miyamoto: Yes, plans. They are on indigo colored paper with the Gamecube symbol on it. I sent the plans to the Great Fox because I felt that they would be safer in the Nintendo Universe. They should be in General Pepper's office.  
  
Kirby: Okay…I'll call you when I get back home with the plans…wait…how will I contact you? And how did you contact me?  
  
Miyamoto: That is not of importance. I will contact YOU. *Click*  
  
*Kirby dropped the phone as he heard footsteps approaching. He climbed back up the ladder and pretended to be cleaning the Arwing in case it was Fox who was coming back. Kirby was relieved that it was not Fox, but rather Falco. He was on edge once again, though, from the blast fired from Falco's blaster. He fell off of the ladder and landed on his head.*  
  
Falco: Hey! Don't try to clean that Arwing!  
  
Kirby: Okay, I won't. Just don't shoot at me next time!  
  
Falco: Shut up…hey, you're that thing that was here a while ago. What are you doing here?!  
  
Kirby: Why does everyone insist on me being a "thing"?!  
  
Falco: Well, you are a thing. I don't think you've looked in the mirror lately!  
  
Kirby: I have a name!  
  
Falco: And I am suppose to know that, how, genius?!  
  
Fox: Hah! Found you, bastard!  
  
*Fox was behind Falco, with his blaster pointed straight at him. Falco slowly turned around.*  
  
Falco: Heh…*Sweatdrop* Fox, you must be getting old. Never took you this long to find me…  
  
Fox: Shut up!  
  
Falco: Put the blaster down right now…because we all know you won't do it, Fox.  
  
Kirby: Violence is not the answer!  
  
Fox: Shut up punk!  
  
Falco: Let's stay rational, Fox.  
  
Fox: I'm going to make you eat that can of paint you used to paint my Arwing!  
  
Falco: Damn, I bet Slippy squealed…  
  
Kirby: … Now is my chance to escape!   
  
*Kirby began to tiptoe by the arguing Fox and Falco. They were completely ignorant of his actions. "Home free", Kirby thought to himself. Kirby had gone into a walking motion…until he bumped into Slippy.*  
  
Slippy: Fox! FOX!  
  
Kirby: NO! He is going to squeal!   
  
Fox: What?! I'm busy!  
  
Slippy: General Pepper wants to see you.  
  
Kirby: Phew! Maybe I can still get away!   
  
Falco: What did you do this time?  
  
Fox: I'll deal with you later.  
  
Slippy: Take your…pet…with you, too. I don't think it should be wandering around the Great Fox.  
  
Fox: Damn punk! Can't stay in one place!  
  
Kirby: You…you squealer! That's why your voice is at an even higher pitch than mine!  
  
Falco: It's got you there, Slippy.  
  
Slippy: My voice…*tearing up*…is not at a high pitch! *Sniff*  
  
Fox: Come on, punk! I can't take my eyes off of you.  
  
Kirby: Are you ever going to stop calling me a punk?  
  
Fox: Nope.  
  
Kirby: That's what I thought. *Sigh*  
  
*Fox and Kirby made their way down the hall towards General Pepper's office when they heard something bang up against one of the windows of the Great Fox. On it was Peach, clinging onto it for her life.*  
  
Peach: FOX! I love yoooooooouuuuuuu!!!  
  
Fox: As if I didn't already know that…  
  
Kirby: How did she…?  
  
Peach: Honey, please open the window so I can get in.  
  
Fox: Hm…no.  
  
Peach: Please?!  
  
Kirby: Fox, she could fall into the city below and die!  
  
Fox: …I think I will open the window.  
  
*Fox jerks the window open quickly, causing Peach to lose her grip on the window and fall into the city below.*  
  
Kirby: Ah! I hope she will be okay! *looks out window*  
  
Fox: The tramp shouldn't be following me… *walks off*  
  
*Fox and Kirby arrived at General Pepper's office. Fox slowly opened the door, to find General Pepper talking with the familiar female Fox who was sitting on a chair by the General's desk. Fox quickly cut his eyes at Kirby.*  
  
Kirby: I didn't say a thing!   
  
G.Pepper: Fox, come in and sit down. We have matters to discuss.  
  
Female Fox: You didn't have to drag Fox into this!  
  
G.Pepper: Why not, Iris? It concerns him aswell.  
  
*The female fox, known as Iris, rolled her eyes at her grandfather and stubbornly turned her head to the side with her eyes closed, letting her long her swing to the side. Pepper sighed, and returned to his seat at his desk.*  
  
G.Pepper: Fox…  
  
Fox: Yes, General?  
  
G.Pepper: Why is that thing here again?  
  
Fox: You can't trust this punk. I have to keep my eye on him.  
  
Kirby: Hmph!  
  
Iris: Grandfather, if you are going to bring Fox in here you could at least get to the point!  
  
G.Pepper: Ah, yes! Fox…  
  
*General Pepper had leaned back in his chair and folded his arms. He then closed his eyes (not like anyone could see behind those shades anyway) to show that he was serious about the situation.*  
  
G.Pepper: …Iris has told me that the two of you have slept together…twice, to be exact.  
  
Kirby: Twice?! I thought it was once!   
  
Fox: Twice?  
  
G.Pepper: You don't remember?  
  
Iris: The first time, he was pretty drunk. No big deal, because it was even as fun as the second time! Of course, someone had interrupted us. Kinda looked like that thing *points at Kirby*.  
  
G.Pepper: You lost your virginity with a man who doesn't even remember the night!  
  
Iris: I SAID THAT IT WASN'T A BIG DEAL!  
  
G.Pepper: *ahem* you are as wild or probably even wilder than your mother. She went after that Fox until she forced him to marry her. I told her to stay within her own species!  
  
Iris: Well my father was a good man!  
  
G.Pepper: Are YOU even sure that Fox was your first?  
  
Iris: Grandfather! I am not a whore! Fox is my first and only!  
  
G.Pepper: Well that still doesn't satisfy me. You could have told me that you were going to sleep with the leader of the Star Fox team!  
  
Iris: It's not like Fox did anything cruel to me! He was quite gentle. He knows how to treat a lady right. *Iris winks and blows a kiss to Fox*  
  
Fox: …eh?  
  
Iris: Actually, I'm glad you brought Fox into this. I have an announcement to make to the both of you, anyway…  
  
G.Pepper: Go ahead…  
  
Iris: I'm…pregnant.  
  
*Fox and General Pepper had fallen out of their seats in shock. Even Kirby stumbled over from the announcement. General Pepper managed to climb back to his feet. He ran over to his granddaughter and felt her stomach.*  
  
G.Pepper: Yes…it has gotten larger since I've last seen you. Are you sure that Fox is the father?  
  
Iris: I SAID THAT I WASN'T A WHORE!  
  
G.Pepper: Hmm…this changes things…  
  
Kirby: …! Ah! I have to get those plans!   
  
*Kirby crept over to General Pepper's empty desk. He quietly opened a small compartment on the desk and shuffled through folders and files.*  
  
Iris: What do you mean?  
  
G.Pepper: This changes things because I thought that Fox could very well disappear from your life forever whenever he wanted to. With a child, he has more of a commitment to you.  
  
Iris: Do you approve of our relationship now?  
  
Fox: Relationship? What?  
  
G.Pepper: Yes, I do…it also gives me something to brag about. My granddaughter is having a child by the leader of the Star Fox Team. I always wanted to be a Great Grandfather!  
  
Iris: Oh, grandfather. *Rolls eyes*  
  
*Kirby found the plans! He grabs them out of the compartment and closes it quietly. But how to hide them from everyone was the new problem? Kirby shoved the plans into his mouth, hoping no one would notice. He quickly moved away from General Pepper's desk before anyone noticed. Pepper helps Fox get back to his feet. He was still shocked from the announcement.*  
  
G.Pepper: Welcome to the family!  
  
Fox: Er…huh…?  
  
G.Pepper: You two kids go discuss your future…I won't hold you up.  
  
Iris: Come on Fox. We've got some planning to do.  
  
*Iris grabs Fox and drags him out of the room. Kirby follows behind them quickly. General Pepper scratches his ear as he remembers that Kirby was in the room during the event. He brushes it off as nothing and returns to his desk to think about what his granddaughter's future may be like with the leader of the Star Fox team as the father of her child…and maybe her future husband. Fox finally breaks free of Iris' grasp in the hallway, letting everything that just happen soak into his head.*  
  
Iris: I think we should buy some things for the baby.  
  
Fox: I refuse to go shopping for baby products!  
  
Iris: You helped make this child; you are going to help me buy things for him. Besides, you are mine now!  
  
Kirby: *Spitting plans out of his mouth* No more picking up random women at the bar, Fox. *Snicker* Now, if you don't mind, I'll be going back home.  
  
Fox: Hey, wait! You can't go anywhere just yet you punk!  
  
*Kirby runs down the hallway. Fox tries to chase after him but is grabbed by Iris.*  
  
Fox: Hey!?  
  
Iris: He is not important, I am! You should be paying more attention to ME!  
  
Fox: *sigh*  
  
*Kirby rides his Warp Star back to his home. Just as he enters his dark house, which is only lit by the moonlight, the phone rings. Kirby walks over and answers the call.*  
  
Kirby: Hello?  
  
Miyamoto: Did you get the plans, Kirby?  
  
Kirby: How did you…ah, well yeah, I got the plans! What was wrong, earlier? You sounded pretty upset.  
  
Miyamoto: Issues with Sony…I'll have to get those plans soon or later. Maybe you could use that device to bring me back one day?  
  
Kirby: Sure…ah! I forgot that Samus still has it! Oh well, its in good hands. I'll get it from her soon.  
  
Miyamoto: Before I forget, Kirby, just for cooperating, I still put in a suggestion for you to get a new game.  
  
Kirby: And?!  
  
Miyamoto: We have all agreed that you will get a new game…there is even a possibility for you to have two games.  
  
Kirby: THIS IS GREAT!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Miyamoto: KIRBY! You almost destroyed my eardrum.  
  
Kirby: Oh, sorry. I'll celebrate tomorrow. Right now, I just want some rest.  
  
Miyamoto: You deserve it.  
  
Kirby: Okay…bye…  
  
*Kirby sets the plans down by the phone, and creeps into his bed, falling to sleep almost instantly. A figure appears in the shadows of Kirby's house. Hey, that's me!*  
  
Claude: That ends Kirby's Insane Journey to Learn How to Wall Jump…Again! Took me forever to write this thing. 19 chapters…I've overdone myself.  
  
Kirby: *snore* …huh? Who are you?! What are you doing in my house?!  
  
Claude: *Sweatdrop* don't worry for you won't remember this meeting!  
  
Kirby: Get out!  
  
*Kirby throws a lamp at Claude, which barely misses his head.*  
  
Claude: Don't forget to keep your eyes peeled for the third installment in the series!  
  
Kirby: Why aren't you out yet?!  
  
*Kirby proceeds to throw objects at Claude. Claude flees the house covering his head as a hurled television set follows him.*  
  
Claude: Kirby's Insane Journey to Find the Two Forbidden Amulets of Light and Darkness! Peace!  
  
THE END  
  
*sniff* Sad to see my own fic end... 


End file.
